Dear Snarky,
I'm devastated by a friend's behavior. I was recently asked by a sorority sister to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I very politely declined because I'm working on my Ph.D., and I don't have the time or any of the money required to be a bridesmaid (FYI the bride wants to go to Paris for her bachelorette party.) I'm also not super close friends with the bride.
It's come to my attention that after I said no the bride has been saying horrible things about me and at her, I guess, "welcome to being a bridesmaid" party which was at one of those axe throwing places she put a picture of me on the target and was throwing axes at my face until an employee said it violated their rules and took it down.
I feel the need to say something, basically defend myself, to her because I think she's acting like a huge brat just because I was honest that right now I don't have the bandwidth or the funds to be a bridesmaid.
What do you think the right course of action is?
Signed, Stunned
Dear Stunned,
This bride sounds seriously unstable. The fact that she was throwing axes at a picture of you is giving me serial killer vibe. As in she's a "Dateline" episode in the making.
I can only deduce that this woman isn't used to hearing anyone tell her "NO" and she's having a prolonged tantrum. That said I would not engage with her in person or via text or email.
One, because she is indeed crazy.
Two, because this woman has proven herself to be most unworthy of your friendship.
Three, any form of engagement will just fuel her blood (or axe) lust.
At this point you need to count your blessings, like get on your hands and knees and thank the higher power of your choice, that you dodged an axe and no longer have to have anything else to do with this woman ever again. And while you're giving thanks maybe you should compose a prayer for the poor souls that are bridesmaids because it sounds like they're going to be living in wedding hell.
In fact, I would bet the most expensive thing on this loon's wedding registry that there's probably going to be a few more bridesmaids that will soon be taking a hard pass on participating in the bride's "big day."
So, don't waste any more of your precious time thinking about this issue and if anyone wants to give you updates on the bride's behavior towards you tell them that you're 100 percent not interested in that topic – ever.
***
Let's talk about a topic that I'm interested in - my latest book!!!!!! "Killer Dance Mom" my first Snarky in the Suburbs mystery is out Tuesday, June 6! This book features all the Snarky characters you've grown to know and hopefully love. Sure, it's about dance moms but you don't have to be one to totally enjoy the book. Also, if you like whodunnits I've been told this is a good one. Here's a little teaser.
Wynn Butler is a newbie dance mom and honestly, she hasn't exactly been receiving rave reviews for her skills. Blinging out costumes and being your child's glam squad aren't exactly her strong suits. But at her daughter's first national competition Wynn is ready to prove herself.
What she hadn't planned for is being forced to share a hotel room with her least favorite person in the whole world – Jacardia Monroe, a mom who's had two tours of duty at a spray tan detox clinic.
As Wynn attempts to survive the roommate from hell and cheer on her daughter, she stumbles onto a murder. Stuffed in a dance bag backstage is Kingston Reeves, a renowned competition judge. Sitting right next to that dance bag is Jacardia.
When both women became "persons of interest" in the case, Wynn decides it's time to do some serious snooping to see who at the competition had a motive to kill the dance judge. Rallying her best friends to help her, she discovers a wide swath of suspects from the Instagram/influencer mom who brings a professional camera crew to follow her at competitions, to a crazed former ballerina turned combative dance mom and then there's the glitter gang . . . a cadre of mothers who are addicted to rhinestoning costumes and perhaps even murder.
As Wynn gets closer to finding out who the killer is she might be one step-ball-change away from death.
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