I mentioned in my blog yesterday the deficit experienced by children who never heard a parent say: "I love you." Subsequently, in response, my friend Oleg blogged that he considered the three most powerful words in the English language to be: "I love you."
For years he reserved the use of those words to romantic partners and close family. Yet, when he started gifting people who had made a difference in his life with Moments Worth Remembering books, those three words were directed to him in response to his kindness.
He acknowledged that those three words expressed in response to his kindness were changing something within him. He writes: "These moments have taught me a profound lesson. I'm learning that it is okay to be loved by those who aren't related by blood. It is okay to accept love from friends, and it is equally true to say it back. I'm discovering that love knows no boundaries or limits. Embracing this new perspective hasn't been easy, but I continue to remind myself that it is about the journey, not the destination. I'm taking baby steps, allowing myself to feel the words. It's a beautiful journey, reshaping how I see and experience love in all its forms. Here's to many more "I love you" moments, regardless of the relationship."
Years ago, I read one woman's aha moment when as an adolescent she confronted her mother about her failure to say: "I love you." She had spent the night with a friend, and at bedtime, her friend's mother came into her daughter's room and told her she loved her. It was then that she realized those words had never been spoken to her.
When she confronted her mother, her mother became teary-eyed. She said: "My mother died when I was very young. I remember the embarrassment of going to school wearing wrinkled clothing, getting home and finding the house empty, and subsequently discovering no one there to prepare dinner. I never invited friends to my home because it was never presentable. When you were born, I resolved that you'd never endure the embarrassment of wearing wrinkled clothing, finding our home a mess, or having to do without a prepared meal. To me, those were thing things that demonstrate that I love you. In my growing up years, no one ever told me that they loved me."
The litmus test of love is action. We often mistake love to be a feeling, but more often it plays itself out in action. Love is something you do. Scripture tells us: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
The act of being other-centered rather than self-centered is always beneficial to the person expressing an act of kindness to someone else. Every act of kindness or tangible expression of love changes something within us.
Years ago, I read the book "Love Does" written by Bob Goff. Bob is an attorney and he shares his personal story. Woven throughout the story is the reality that love expressed is something we do rather than something we say.
I can tell you with certainty, that when I invest the time to provide support for someone else, I'm always the person who benefits most. Love changes something inside me and makes my life fuller and more enriched.
All The Best!
Don
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