Stuck between, whether or not, we should, keep on, feeding the, strays, the moral conscience, considerations, versus what's actually, good for the, world…translated…
A couple of days ago, heard three friends' podcast, the subject was "The Most Unforgettable Meal", after I'd heard, a lot of memories came, surfacing, back, up……….the very first, was the first AND last meal I'd had with all my ex-lovers, what's odd was, these had already been, blurred out, and I'd, forgotten some of the names of my, exes! What's more memorable was, the few times I'd gone to dine out at restaurants with those whom I got too close to marrying, and their families, but, their parents, picked at me way, too hard………as I was shocked, at how I couldn't get the elders to, like me, at the same time I'd felt, funny too, like that poor girl from back when, became someone, else already, and now, I'd, not focused at all on that.
Then, because I didn't want things to get forgotten completely, I still kept, recalling, suddenly, came a very, lucid scene, that was when I was still caring for the stray cats—"Flower", who was nursing at the time was a total, glutton, other than the dry foods, I'd fed her the canned foods, or the less-seasoned human foods as well, once, my older sister came to visit without telling me first, brought the cooked meats, and, Flower, who'd smelled the meat from far, far, far away, came, running, and she'd, put her, shortened, white leg onto my friend, Hu-Hu's lap to beg for food, and immediately, she'd received, the, biggest, piece!
you may think of this as kindness, but, it would cause the explosion of population of stray cats, leading to more problems in the long run...photo from online
Hu-Hu and I, looked at her eyes that glowed, how she'd, begun, salivating, biting down the meat, refusing to lt go, but she'd not, immediately, chowed, down, instead, she'd become, dumbfounded, frozen, not moved, with her eyes rolling around, clearly, contemplating on, something, she's now, stuck, in a, predicament………we'd looked at each other and smiled, understood, that she may be thinking about, bringing the meats to her kittens that's, stopped, nursing already? And, in this moment of decision-making, we'd both, held our breaths, and looked at her, until she'd, finally, made up her mind (such a horrible thought for her to choose), strode out on those, short legs, took the meat to where she'd, hidden her, kittens—then, Hu-Hu and I almost, let out a hooray, we were, about to, do the wave for the greatness of the mother's, love then!
Following, there was, another, unforgettable meal, it was when the kittens got ill collectively, don't know where "Coco" had, stolen a piece of bacon, she'd, carried the meat, like she'd owned it and strutted, leapt from the high up walls down, and, delivered that piece of most delicious meat, to her young, almost dead kittens, and yet, they all, turned their, sorry-looking faces aside, couldn't take any more foods into their, system……….Coco lay on her side, and showed that look that I will, never, forget, and her hard-to-describe expression, even as "Chih", on the verge of stealing that piece of meat away, she'd, ignored. Not long thereafter, all her kitten had, died.
On the memories of these two meals, I remembered the details to precision, I still felt the strong impacts, seemed that a part of me, to this very day, still stayed, on the deck of where the Danshui River emptied out to the oceans, couldn't, leave. Even though, Hu-Hu, who'd fed the stray cats got killed in a car accident for fourteen years, and I'd already, left Danshui, for six already.
but if you don't feed, you feel, guilty over, how you could've, done something, to help them grow up and stay alive...photo from online
But I also, recalled the recent upset of animal protection and stray protection, because feeding the stray dogs and cats, it'd caused the wildlife to die, and so, the wildlife protection advocates mocked those of us who'd fed the strays, that we have an illness of "the need to see the strays full"—so, maybe, that's, it then? Tried recalling the most unforgettable meal I ever had, and yet, all I could recall, where the cats, feeling satisfied after I'd, fed, them.
And yet, to this day and time, I'd not known which side is right, anymore, all I know is, every time we'd, handed a stray a piece of food, it's, out of, a kind thought, and, only because, if we don't, our conscience won't, let us off the hook. What's troubling about this, is that nobody could, foresee, that this is, a road of, no returns, once it'd happened, it will happen, time, and time, and time, again, and if we'd stopped, we would be, abandoning the, animals, and so, everybody does it, until, we can't, do it, any, more, and the feeders are, all, feeding an vicious tiger in a sense, if this is wrong, all the volunteers had been made to, pay the, price.
I imagine a world, where, everybody can, overlook a starving animal, that people can, sleep soundly through the, nights, I don't know, if that world would be better, than this one, that's filled with, the contrasting beliefs, and pain. But I'm glad, I'd, gotten out of the line already, and I hope that all the rest who are continuing to feed the strays, to have the ease of mind, doing it.
And so, this is, a battle between our conscience, and what's right and what's, wrong. If you feed the strays, the population is going to grow, and, that will in turn, damage the wildlife population, because, there are now, more mouths to feed than ever, and, that wouldn't be good. But, if you don't feed the strays, you would be, letting them starve to death, knowingly, and that wouldn't, make you feel, easy at all, so, you're, trapped.
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