How these parents, realized, that they were, about to, begin, reminding their children WHAT they needed to do, but then, decided to, let their children, TAKE responsibilities for themselves, in doing WHAT they needed to get, done, translated…
As I'd found the opportunity on the weekends, to go out with my wife to the café for some afternoon tea, my son texted me, "enjoy it, do be happy!", as we'd read, we started, smiling at one another. Certainly, it'd been, long, since we'd gone out on a date for two, since we had children, we'd been, traveling as a whole, unit.
As I sipped the aromatic coffee, my wife said, thoughtfully, "I think, the kids had, entered into, the next stage of their, lives, do you feel it too?", as she'd mentioned it, I'd, certainly, had, noted it, our relations aren't as close-knit anymore as back when they were in the elementary, years. They're in middle, and high school now, no longer, tagged along behind us, and that also meant, they'd wanted, more freedom from us, and they'd not wanted us to, glue our eyes, to everything they're, doing.
illlustration from UDN.com
The next day, my children's mid-terms were coming up, we were still, a bit, worried, leaving them at home on their own, will they, really, do their, reviews, or, will they, start, slacking, when we're, not, watching them? But, thinking on it closely, they are already, teens who can, handle themselves now, and, if they can't take responsibilities for their own, schoolwork, then we'd, wasted our times in, accompanying them, all this, way.
Awhile ago, as I drove, I'd, told my son, that there's, that lack of, ambition when it came to, the scholastic. My wife, close by, chimed in, "yeah! You need to, give it, all you, got!", and, don't know why, as I'd heard the wordings, it'd, made me want to, chuckle, because, wasn't it us, who'd told, that some things, the kids had to, experience on their own, for the things to, leave a, deep enough, impression in their, lives?
With this awareness, I'd, stopped, nagging, and lecturing my children on how to handle their, studies. Because I'd come to understand, that as parents, we can, only, give them, the, reminders, and, if we reminded them too much, we'd become, annoying to them, and our words wouldn't have, the effects that they'd needed.
So, toward the mid-terms coming up in school the following day, before my wife and I headed out, we'd only, reminded them lightly of it, to remember to study, as for how they will set up the time for their studies, if they took our words to mind, it's up to them, to choose.
And, I turned back, to rethink my wife's words, "the kids seemed to have, entered into, another stage in their, lives", it'd become, more, meaningful to me, and our means of disciplining them, also, need the, upgrades too. We no longer, watched them like hawks, to satisfy our own senses of, security, we needed to constantly, learn to, release that hand that held tightly to the, reins, to let them, learn to, ride out their own, lives now.
Think of it, if the kids into their, adulthood years, we still, "zoomed in" on them, how annoy, how, upsetting it would, be. We'd slowly, loosened our, grips, so they will learn, how to, handle themselves, instead of, being the, carriage drivers for them for their, whole, lives, so they are, only, passengers, on their rides of their, lives.
So, this is, letting go, when you'd, stopped, nagging your children, to do what you know they needed to do, and, this takes awareness on the parents' parts, because, sometimes, we'd been parents for the term of, more than ten years, it'd become, this, "occupational hazard" that we got into the habits of, nagging our children, on what they needed to get done, and with us, breathing down their, necks, they will, NEVER learn to, take responsibilities for themselves, because, mommy and daddy'll help me remember what I need to get done, and that's, no good!
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