A Short Note
This rings true to me. Martin Luther King Jr. said peace is not only the goal but peace is the means by which to get there. Think about that for a minute.
What has to happen for this to be true?
The only thing I can think of, because I'm not MLK, and I have no idea what he thought it would take to achieve that kind of universal tranquility, is that I have to consider what Mel Robbins said in a post today, and that was to put down my sword.
I have to figure out a way to hush my go-to response to conflict, which is anger and frustration. Seriously, I carry those twins everywhere. It's more of a shield than a sword, but they can be just as cutting in an argument. It's as if children who constantly argue amongst themselves, and then you're stuck in this internal dialogue, whose only purpose is to keep you perpetually mad.
Please tell me I'm not the only one.
Mel Robins has a theory, it sounds good, but I wasn't sure it would work in practice. So I tried it.
Yes, I did.
She said that you have to focus exclusively on the people who love and respect you. Give them all your love and support because it will come right back to you.
My sister emulates this beautifully. She's not afraid to say to me what needs to be said. She may be soft-spoken, but she's honest, and I know she loves me. I can trust that her advice (or scolding) comes from a place of respect and kindness because I know she wants me to be the best version of Cheryl possible, and when she sees me stumble, she doesn't make me feel like shit. She stands right next to me so she can help me walk.
We all need someone in our lives who can do that for us.
Another friend, the wise one I wrote about a few weeks ago, told me that when you feel anger and frustration start to rise up in you, along with wayward judgments, she immediately bows her head and prays for that wave of emotion to recede.
It works.
For her.
I end up in a courtroom with God trying to justify my emotions and negotiate a plea bargain that gives me immunity on the stand and a light sentence.
I'm the worst. But I tried it with mini emotions, and it worked. So there's some hope.
I suppose what is really happening here is that she is giving her rebellious emotions a time-out. A cooling off period, if you will, and then she asks for help. It's a winning combo.
Here's my takeaway. I need to put down my sword and stop spending my precious time with people whose primary interactions with me are about blame, ridicule, or control. That's like messing with a hornet's nest and thinking you're not going to get stung.
A hornet is always going to be a hornet. Let it.
I like the idea of making space for peace. I'm going to invite that kind of freedom into my life because it is seriously not as heavy as a sword, and appeals to my sense of civility.
I would only add, maybe distance yourself a little from the hive.
I'm Living in the Gap, and if you haven't heard this today, I'm telling you right now, you are of immeasurable worth just the way you are. Now let's do a little fencing in the comments. How do you maintain your peace?
Happy Birthday, Sue!
There's still time to Grow Damn It, it's been almost a year, I need a new surge.
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