How the parents need to learn more from the children these days, because, the younger generations have more newer ideas to offer, that's better fitted in the, modern day era, so, parents, don't think that because you're older than we are, you know more, maybe that would be true, in centuries past, but not anymore, in this, day and age here! Translated…
I'd Told My Father, that, in This Day & Age, More People are Staying Single and Not Getting Married, Besides, Being Married isn't Necessarily Better. If My Youngest Brother Married the Wrong Woman, and Needed to Divorce in the End, He May Lose Half of His Assets………….
My daughter always hollered from behind me, "do be good, don't do anything bad." I'd turned my head, and said, "I'm very well behaved. I always follow your orders."
Forgotten when it'd begun, that I'd followed my daughter's orders more than she'd, followed, mine. She's more like a mother to me, seeing there were the leftover grains of rice in my bowl, she'd reminded me to finish up, that there won't always be enough food to go around. And, grilled me on the items I purchased without thinking if I needed them, that I need to comparison shop first, to find the cheapest deal. Ranted on how I get caught up with other's issues, to NOT take the responsibilities that aren't mine. Angry at me for being at work, when I'm clocked out, that I should leave my work AT work when I come home, that I shouldn't work when I'm, at home.
This day, I'd, pointed at my computer, said that I'd tried to get my station to work, but I couldn't, that I couldn't, make the page number show on my footer. She'd picked up my mouse, clicked a few buttons, then, the page number appeared. She'd told me, "I'd taught you, to press this button here…like this, so many times already!", "You need to take notes on this. But you don't." I'd, scratched my head, in a barely audible voice, I'd told her, "I thought I'd, understood how to do it already…", she'd stated, "Even IF you knew how to do it, still, WRITE it DOWN!" then left the line, "I won't teach you again, if you continue to not keep your notes intact!" I'd switched a career path in midlife, and, wasn't agile in many of the operating programs I'd needed to know how to use, had it not been for my daughter's aiding me, I would probably be crying at work, every time that my boss started, grilling me.
the interactions of the generations of a family...with the children, learning from the adults and vice versa...photo from online
I'd smiled, not dared to talk back, to prevent her from nagging me.
I'd recalled when she was little, one day, she'd picked up a thread and a needle, and, stabbed onto the dog stuff toy. That was an eyeless stuffed toy she bought from a classmate at the school carnival. She was so tiny then, took that too long black thread, back and forth, sewing the black bead onto the dog's face, and, in the end, around the stuff dog's eyes, there were, the wrinkles of long and short, all over. I'd asked, "why didn't you wait for me to do it?", she'd said, "then, doggy will stay blind forever!", that was when she was only in the first, grade, noted how her mom wasn't good in stitchwork, how I'd leave things that needed to get done all over the places, that I would, procrastinate a whole, lot.
I'd, immediately picked up the pen, and write down the steps that my daughter just showed me. And, she'd started, nagging at me again, and had me, write down the screens on my workstation, to help me operate it better, told me to draw the diagrams by my written steps. She'd, picked up the notes of her distant course online, showed it to me. The handwriting, was perfect, the forms, the diagrams, and the various colors of the ink, it'd looked like a certified, peer-reviewed, published textbook. I'd, lowered my head, mumbled, "I shall, definitely take the notes from here on out!"
She's growing older, while I'm, aging fast, and, in this new age, there are, a lot that I can't, understand.
Remembered when I got my very first smartphone, no matter how I'd swiped left, right, up and down with my finger, or drew circles, I still, couldn't, pick up a call. Once, I was on the train, the phone rang, my finger started, moving all over the screens, I almost had a cramp, and yet, the ringtone continued screaming, and in the end, I can only, turn my cell over, pulled open the battery lid, pulled the battery out, to return the peace back to the, train. My troubles, were a total joke to my daughter, her finger fluidly, slid across the screen, stated, like this!
When I'd returned back to my own home to visit, I'd heard my father, nagged my youngest brother, for not following his orders, I'd told him, "youngest won't buy those, uncertified drugs, it's for your own, good!" he'd waved it off, and was dissatisfied at how slow to react my youngest brother is. I'd pointed to my youngest brother, handing him his hat, told, "before you say anything, he is, handing you your, hat, and you still don't think he's, quick enough?" he'd nagged about how my youngest brother wasn't getting married yet, I'd told him, "because he is single, he can, look after you and mom," I'd started, going over a ton of good qualities that my youngest brother has, and my father stilled continued sighing, shaking his head.
On this very day, dad started, ranting on how my youngest brother isn't married yet, that he would have to be all alone on his own, when he's, elderly, told that he'd found a woman, who's agile around the house, with a good voice, but a bit, chubby, that she would be perfect, after she'd, lost some, weight, but my youngest brother declined.
I'd started following my daughter's lead, straight up, told my father to get his mind into the current times. I'd told my father, that there are, more who aren't wed than those who are, that marriage isn't necessarily better. That if my youngest brother found a wrong woman to marry, and ended up divorced, he may only have half of all his assets left, and, without me finishing up this, "speech", my father seemed to have, understood, started claiming, that better he's not married then.
Persuading dad, was like, fighting, a very long battle. I'd, gloated to my daughter, "I'd, educated your grandpa today, like you'd, educated me." She'd looked at me, smacked her lips, "then, youngest uncle owes me a thank you." "You'd been well-behaved today, mom".
So, in these interactions, the parent was more like the child, because, she had a lot she couldn't understand, especially in the technological advances, and needed her daughter's help on it, and, the woman transferred the means of learning from her daughter, and, passed the values that her own father needed to learn about her generation, and this still showed, how it's not only the children who need to learn from the parents and elders, that, the elders have a lot to learn from the younger generations too, after all, each generations are raised in the varied spaces and times, and have different things to offer one another.
The Air, My Friend
How the process is the same, with the alters of the beginning and the end being different, and you would have, an entirely, opposite, attitude to things, the column by Jimmi Liao, on having an alternative, perspective on things, translated, by me…
The Bus Toward Happiness, Halted in the Middle of the Roads,
The Wait Became, an Anxious Sort of Sorrow Now.
The Bus Toward Sorrows Stopped, Operating.
And, the Wait Became, the Expectancies Toward a Future of, Happiness.
How very odd, that the process is exactly the same, but the beginning and end being, opposites, and it changes, everything.
Night Prayers
How guilt, was what drove him to become Catholic, and how, the searches deep, into himself, was what made him, shift his own religious belief systems toward, Buddhism, and this still just showed, how, there's NO one religion that's right for everybody, we all have our, choices to decide for ourselves, and, religions should NOT be forced onto our own selves…translated…
Shortly after we'd moved to this, small town, my mother took us to get baptized to become, Catholics, my Catholic name is Mariah. On Sundays, we would go to church for mass, afterwards, I'd stayed, to study the Bible; my younger brother was too young, and he'd followed my mother home.
The priests taught us children to read the bible verses, we were given a picture book, with the words too, there were the stories of the Bible in it, with little Jesus, teaching us how to behave well in life. After the class, the nuns would hand a few piece of cookies to everyone of us, with a sweet cup of milk, that was, what the kids like me expected the most of the sessions.
illustration from UDN.com
Every time before the masses, there was the half-hour of "confessions". The father sat inside a houses out of the back of the church, hearing the children confess, through the gridded window that's made of wood. I'd, kneeled before the window, told of how I'd, forgotten to say grace before my meals, how I'd, talked back to dad, how I "took" two marbles from my younger brother………….the priest listened to me quietly, and rolled his tongue, spoke in Taiwanese, with a very thick, American, accent, told me to not offend again, and have me recite "The Lord Prayer" three times, three times of "Act of Contrition". "O My God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you………". I'd memorized The Lord Prayer to heart, but not the other one, I'd, recited the other one, inarticulately. But the father didn't blame me for not remembering the verses, and, used his hands, and crossed me, begged for the Lord to forgive me for my sins. It's over! I'm, absolved, I'd, run like hell outside.
The adults were gathered outside the church, in conversations, "they don't offend the Lord, no need for confessions?", I'd held this question for many a year. Until I was an adult, and, gotten caught up with the messes of life, then, I'd, come to, absolve and pity the sins of the, adult world, due to how complex the adult world, is, and, the inability to face oneself truthfully, that's not something that confessions can help us, resolve at all.
But since, I'd, started, praying at bedtime out of habit.
Before I go to bed, I'd, lain on my bamboo bed, crossed my heart, and, silently, prayed to Christ of all the bad things I'd done, to help me reduce weight quickly. And, usually, before my asking were completely finished, I'd, gotten, hauled away by the god of sleep.
After I left home, went to college, I was impacted by western philosophies, gotten lost in the theories of Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, believed that life is filled with the void, the world is, way too, wayward, and, it'd, shaken up the foundation of my belief in religion, and I'd, struggled for so many years over this. later, my father, my younger brother, and my mother, passed, where does life come from? Where do we go after death? A heart that's now, without anything to station it down, I'd felt, alone, and tried, to seek out the answers to life, I'd, started reading, the Buddhist, verses then.
The Heart Sutra, the Diamond Sutra, offered the wisdoms of what I was seeking, and after reading these, Buddhist volumes again, again, and again, I'd, slowly, understood the meanings of life itself, and I can, now, face life and death, with, the ordinariness of mind.
While my night prayer rituals, continued.
Jesus is a god of heaven since birth, guiding my moral compass, watched over me as I'd rolled around the world, growing up, I will never forget it. The Goddess of Mercy, who'd helped me steady my own steer of the ship of life, to help me sail to the shores of the other side safe and sound, and naturally, I owed her my life. These two, seemingly, conflicted religious systems, they'd become, what balanced my heart.
There's the two statues of Budda and Goddess of Mercy in my living room. Being not yet taken by religions, I'd had to, look at the statues, to find the peace from within me; before the statues, with my hands, clasped together, bowing, this is, the nightly rituals I had.
Turned in to my bedroom, turned off the lights, sat in the middle of my own bed, with my legs folded, faced to my desk, facing the portrait of the Christ, I'd, crossed my heart.
And, I'd, offered the prayers to my various organs that have worked for many decades nonstop, thanked them for not giving out yet, that although they're old, and ill, deteriorating, away, they'd still, helped me kept my back straight, to maintain my, dignity. And, if one day, they'd, all gone on, strike, left me, do, give me a brand new set, and, at the next step, we'll, be together again.
Then, I'd, lain myself down peacefully, with the small lamplight at my bedpost, accompanying me to sleep, no need for the, dreams.
And so this, is how you'd, found your own peaceful state of mind through, religion, you'd, shifted from Catholicism to Buddhism, which are, two, very, diverse religions, but, as you'd grown older, you'd found, that the Buddhist teachings are closer to your own, philosophies of life, but that still did NOT take away the beginning of your introduction in religion, by Catholicism, which is why you still, prayed before bedtime, as you'd done when you were, growing up.
Religion doesn't have right and wrong, so long as it fits you, and, the sole focus of all religion is that you do NOT hurt anyone, that you give to the world.
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