Often it's not the big issues of life that trip me up: it's the little everyday irritations. Anger and frustration can go from 0 to 60 in seconds over some dumb little problem.
Recently I was working on a blog post when my mouse started sticking. Either it wouldn't move on the screen, or it wouldn't highlight what I needed. I tried to highlight a phrase, and the mouse jumped to another part other than what I was trying to work on.
I checked my battery: it was fine. I checked that the USB sensor was within range and moved it closer anyway. Nothing helped.
I'm sorry to say I was so frustrated that I banged the mouse on the desk several times and shouted at it.
I know that doesn't help. But it felt good. For a few moments.
Then, of course, I was ashamed of myself. I thought, "I'm glad no one was around to see that."
But someone was.
Proverbs 15:3 says, "The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good." That's a comfort, that He sees all that goes on, knows what is happening to us, will meet our needs, and provide grace for whatever He allows.
But it's also a reminder that we don't "get away with" anything.
I was reminded, too, of Ephesians 3:10: "Through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places." It's odd to think of angels and creatures from Ezekiel looking down at God's people on earth and learning about His wisdom. I have to wonder what they learned by seeing the temper tantrum of one of God's children over such a minor issue.
I'm thankful that "with You there is forgiveness, so that You may be feared" (Psalm 130:4), that "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9), that "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14).
I'm rebuked by the fact that since I don't act like that when other people are around, it shows I do have some measure of self-control even though it didn't feel like it in the moment.
And I'm convicted by remembering that giving way to temper and frustration in a little thing makes it that much easier to give way in other situations.
I reasoned that if the testing of our faith by trials is supposed to produce steadfastness, as James says, and we're to "let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:3-4), that's true of small trials as well as large ones.
I thought of verses about anger, like Ecclesiastes 7:9: "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools." I thought how God is "merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love" (Psalm 103:8; 145:8; 86:15). I remembered once again that as we "behold His glory," we're "transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another" (2 Corinthians 3:18). I need to behold Him more in His Word.
Practically, I was motivated to remember to tell my husband the problem with my mouse. If I had done that one of the last several times I had problems, it would've prevented my little blow-up.
As I thought through all these things, I considered writing a blog post. Then I thought, "Nah, lesson learned, pick up and go on." But the next day or so, the Daily Light on the Daily Path reading for the day was filled with verses linked to and including the Proverb mentioned above about God seeing us. That seemed a confirming nudge to go ahead with this blog post.
How about you? Do you ever lose it over little things? What have you found to help? Do any of these thoughts resonate with you?
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
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