The blessings of life are, usually, in disguise, and, sometimes, we need to, almost lose something we have, to learn to, cherish it, written by a neurology professor, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…
My friend hurriedly called on me, said that she worried that her daughter-in-law may have postpartum depression. Turned on, her daughter-in-law lost massive amounts of blood in childbirth, almost died, thankful for the modern day medical advances, she was, saved. But, don't know if it's because of this, her daughter-in-law wasn't close with her own newborn infant, she'd originally planned to breastfeed, and now, she'd switched to bottles. My friend heard, that the infants needed to have skin-to-skin contact with their mothers to establish that needed, bond, she'd worried that her daughter-in-law won't love this child.
I told her not to worry, that attachment is not as serious as the world believes, some children were born with jaundice, needed to be in the incubators with the lights, they can't be taken home immediately; and the premature born infants needed a few days in the incubators, before the parents are allowed to take them home, so long as the parents respond to the infant's biological and emotional needs, then, the mother and child will be connected, there's no need to worry about the short separations.
The connections of PTSD with postpartum depression, however, are often, overlooked. The PTSD that women who'd given birth are similar to that of the aftermath of getting hit by a car, a lot of those who were hit by cars, saw cars, and started feeling the fears, didn't dare to drive again, to the point of not being able to get into cars that other people are, driving. Some of the women with difficult childbirth may not want to see their infants, because the infants are like the cars in the car crashes, would make the mothers recall the traumas. This had been documented in the ancient text of "Zuozhuan" from three thousand years ago.
There's a phenomenon in psychology, the framing effect, the same thing, due to differences of expressions, there would be, the different effects. For instance, if a medication is said to be ninety-percent effective, the physicians would prescribe it to the patients, but if it's said to be ten-percent ineffective, then the physicians, wouldn't. The same thing, the way we see it, is the primary determinant of how it will work, the circumstances define how wrong or right it is.
The oddest birthing process I'd ever heard of, was a neurologist in the Massachusetts General Hospital, she was pregnant at age thirty-six, when she got to thirty-seven weeks, the gynecologist thought it was a stillborn, recommended that she induced labor, she'd refused, waited until thirty-nine weeks, the fetus still didn't grow bigger, and, she had to, go to get her labor induced, but, soon as the oxytocin was injected, she'd started contracting, but then, the contractions, stopped, and she can only get a caesarian, and the fetus was born healthy, she was ecstatic, but the surgeon told her immediately, that there is a huge tumor growing on her ovary, that it might be ovarian cancer, asked if she wanted to have it removed. She'd thought, that her child was born finally, and she's, going to die, to see her child grow up, she'd decided on the removal immediately. As the surgeons operated on her, they'd found that it was only a fibroma, and not cancer. After all the tortures, she finally got to take her son home, but, within two weeks of getting home, she was once again, hospitalized due to pulmonary embolism.
And, for most, if this happened, we would be overcome with, depression, but she didn't. She'd told, without losing, there's no joys of regaining in return; I thought I'd lost my baby, and he was healthy; thought I had cancer, that I didn't have that much time left, turned out it was a benign tumor; the embolism might kill me, but I'd, survived, all of these good things had happened to me, why would I need to be, depressed?
The joys of return after what you thought was lost, greatly exceeded when you first received something. Because only after losing, then, we stopped, taking things for, granted. A lot of people fearing lost, they'd stopped, expecting, but that's wrong, as expectations would add more to the joys. Toward what had already happened to us in life, we need to learn to let go, and be grateful for what we'd been, given, to NOT envy what we don't have, that, is the right ways of, life.
So, this is on how life twists and turns, and how it, made us realize, that sometimes a loss, may be a gain in, disguise, it just takes longer for us to realize it is all.
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