"... the sacredness of pause, a silence, or an empty canvas." -- Makoto Fujimura, Facebook story
I transcribed this fragment from an audio Facebook story by artist Makoto Fujimura but when I tried to find it again it had disappeared like an empty canvas under the power of inspiration and revelation. Yet, the idea of an empty canvas stayed with me. Not a fearful thing, not a reproach or reproof, but a sacred silence. A waiting.
For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. Psalm 62:1 (ESV)
The Hebrew word translated "waits in silence" in this verse is dumiyyah (דּוּמִיָּה): a silence, a quiet waiting, repose. A sacred pause.
I have had an empty canvas staring at me for months, part of a treasure trove of art materials given me by a dear friend. But I can't seem to do anything with it. The empty canvas has become a shameful thing, another failure. That's why this fragment of a story captured me. What if the empty canvas is a sacred thing? What if the silence, the waiting, the pause is not failure but rather faith?
The pressure to be something wonderful, to do something amazing destroys the sacredness of the waiting. Fear and shame keep me from even trying. I don't want anyone to see my unfinished mess, anything less than faultless excellence. I want to hear "well done" from the wrong people. And in the paralysis of the empty canvas, I miss the importance and the grace of becoming. Gretchen Schmelzer calls this the "beauty of the unfolding," as in the opening of a flower.
"But in places in us where we need to heal, where there has been hurt or grief—our petals may stay tightly closed for a long time. It may feel like a real risk to allow them to move. We don't want anyone to see the mistakes, stray petals, the tentative reaching—we want to be seen in full bloom. And we miss the beauty of the unfolding. The beauty of the courage it took to let go ... It isn't the flower, but the unfolding, that is beautiful." -- Gretchen L. Schmelzer, The Unfolding is What is Beautiful
So, if the empty canvas is a sacred thing - part of the unfolding, part of the waiting in silence - then the paralysis of the fear of failure is replaced by the wonder of what God will work next. The tyranny of perfection is overwhelmed by the gentle invitation. I need the empty canvas. I need to be the empty canvas.
And if I am the empty canvas, then I must allow God to paint the picture. With his own hands. The Lord reminded me that I have always loved rocks because to me they contain the fingerprints of God. You can see the creation of the world in them, powerful upheavals of the earth and fiery lava flows and the formation of breathtaking beauty. I did some research into painting with fingerprints and was led to an artist who paints portraits using just his fingerprints. The results are amazing.i Look at the detail in this one.
So, I can imagine the fingers of God hovering over my empty canvas and I can surrender in anticipation. I can rest in the sacredness of the empty canvas as the secure waiting of faith. And I will trust him to paint my portrait, my life, maybe not the one I thought I desired or imagined, but in faith waiting to see the totally unexpected creation he will accomplish. One fingerprint at a time.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7 (ESV)
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of God
-- refrain from Fingerprints of God by Steven Curtis Chapman
iChuck Close at the National Gallery of Art https://www.nga.gov/global-site-search-page.html?searchterm=chuck+close+fingerprint
Image, Detail of Creation of Adam, fresco by Michelangelo in the Sistine Chapel, 1509 https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:The_Creation_Michelangelo.jpg
No comments:
Post a Comment