And apparently this ADULT too, had forgotten, what it was like, as a teen, or maybe, the teenage transition for this writer isn't as, turbulent as the other teens', that's why, she could, DISSECT this matter, so, rationally, but the adolescent years aren't RATIONAL, they're, emotional, and sometimes, all the parents CAN do, is to just, stay by their teens' sides, and be quiet, and accompanying them, trust me, that would work, a whole lot better, compared to you, stupid parents, trying to, DRAG your teens out of the foul moods that they're, in, I'd been there, and now, I'm, here, so I would know…translated…
If We Don't Want Our Adolescents to Troll, then, We Must All, Show them a Positive Way to Interact with One Another, and More Strengths………….
Recently, it'd felt, that my reaction time had, slowed, especially what's going on in my brains, the thoughts can't get out of my mouth soon enough, to precisely and clearly state how I felt. I'm no longer as articulate as I'd been when I was, younger now, and would BITE down on what I think is right like a bulldog on a bone, instead, I'd, thought for a long while, before I blurt out the words. Reason why I'd noticed this change in me, could it be because, I paled by comparisons to the teens that are, attacking one another using their sharpened, tongues?
illustration from UDN.com
The Disobedient Generations, Causing the Parents Heartaches
A lot of mothers who are friends, when they gathered up, they are always, comparing, not on finances, or who we know, but instead, we'd, compared how our teens can, talk back to us, to make us feel so upset we wanted to, die. And, the teens, who normally kept their tongues on hold, when they found the opportunities, it'd be like they found a gun, started, shooting out at random, one shot right after another, and another, without the blanks, and hitting the bull's eye every single, time, and they never, backed, down. Although, when we'd heard this from other parents, we can't show any, empathy, and just, laughed about it, and yet, tears started, rolling down, because our own teens, they're, worse at talking back.
When getting along with a teenager, the parents cared the most about the attitudes they take to learning, the daily living routines, and the character building, along with they way they made friends, and how they'd, interacted with their, peers (okay, dealing with teens, we need to know, everything!); but at this stage, the adults-to-be, have their own fully developed thought processes, or most already have (or think that they do) the ability to execute their thoughts properly, so they'd felt, that the adults' words, suggestions are, excessive and nagging, to the point, of our words becoming, road blocks to them. Normally, the parents who are aware (like me), can no longer use the command methods, ordering our teens to do what we tell them to, instead using our (supposedly, self-believed) means of open communication methods with them, tried communicating with our, teenagers.
But, for decades, the kids already, knew our modes like the underside of their palms; even as we'd, switched to a gentler tone, we can't, stop these, hormone-raging adolescents, to turn on their, battling mode, to the point, of we didn't say a thing to them, and they'd, started, attacking, using the policy of first hit first to win, then, we the parents, pick up the pieces of debris from the attacks. Or course, the sounds of our glass hearts shattering, got drowned out by the sound of the guns, cannons firing out, and instead, what we'd felt, was our blood pressures, rising higher, higher, higher, and higher, up.
extremely IDEAL, but completely, UNREALISTIC! Photo from online
Under Fight Mode, the Children All Turned into, Trolls
The adolescents of this generation, are raised by the online word, they'd only needed to key in the words, upload the images, and only needed to, face the screens they're, sitting, in front of; so they are, immersed in the culture of criticizing wrong or right based off of what's being stated online, and became, a part of that, online culture without themselves knowing it, and, when they felt threatened, naturally, their adrenaline hikes, which alerts them to heighten up their defenses, that was why soon as they opened their mouths, bullets came flying all over (do imagine this in your mind).
The adolescent's survival and battle mode became subconsciously oriented, which translates into the negative trolling attitudes that they carried. Especially, when they have different views on things with their parents, and are at opposite ends, naturally, they'd become, the weapons of, destructions, injuring all bystanders who are innocent, or those they loved without knowing it. The exchanges of daily conversations, the views or criticisms our teens have may be ill-intended too, they'd said this wasn't "insulting anyone", it's just how we act with each other.
Now, there's the new-age term of mocking, criticizing, from before, making fun, mocking, sarcasm toward ourselves was called "humor". So, which of these are, higher in the levels of expressions? I think, what the teens are using, maybe, easier to dissect than "humor", after, hitting someone, it feels good, no need for skills; but, making our own selves into, targets, that takes, training, to HIT that, bull's eye!
Opening Our Hearts & Ears Too, to Reroute Our Adolescents' Thinking Processes
Of course, this, is merely, a passage of life in the teenage years, that we can't, understand wholly yet; but, I still suggest that the parents need to be patient, to NOT give up on communicating with the teens that you have, and if the communication causes verbal conflicts, don't get deterred. Think of the recently heated interaction of the councilwoman, Miao with a YouTuber, I strongly recommend that you parents go and watch it online from start to finish, because this, is a demonstration of the textbook grade, it can give the parents, a ton of, help.
I'd learned, that to increase the chances of success of getting the words in, as the cannons started firing off, don't think of just how to knock the person out with one punch, but instead, listen, repeating what you hear, helping the adolescents, sort out their own thoughts, to help them clarify, to even, reinforce your own, views; do let them know, that we the parents, are truly, working hard, to understand them. Or maybe, in the process of sorting these things out, they are able to see their own thoughts in fuller spectrum, and felt, that the adults who'd accompanied them, were criticizing, judgmental, but instead, objectively, offering the sound advices, helping them groom through their, thoughts.
and this, would be, more like it...photo from online
If we don't want our teens to turn into trolls who loved attacking using the negative things, then, we must, demonstrate the positive means of interactions, to help the kids be understood, to be listened to, and be, empathized, knowing: that they'd been, warmed, supported, and caught steadily by us, the parents, and in the futures, which should they choose, the darkness, the upset, the belittling? Or, to walk in strides, toward that, sunny path?
If we can, achieve the darkened glories in the fully armed, then, why not, try and face our adolescents' mood swings, or to, give them the praises, which will lead them onto a less harmful path of their, lives? I'd only come to understand this reasoning in my midlife years, I want to, offer my thoughts to the, adolescents.
You have to understand, all of these, are REASONABLE, but the teenage years, are NOT driven by reason, there's the HORMONES raging (internally), the peer pressures (external), and all of that combined, adds up to a, whole lot of, mess, and from my own experience, when I was PISSED off (boy oh boy, did I get, SUPER, DUPER PISSED back in the days), I just wanted to be, left alone, to groom through my own upsets, instead of having the adults, rush in, to pull me out of that, foul mood, I mean, what's the big deal, of feeling upset, huh? And, if we're not allowed to fully experience our angers, our upsets, and all those, NEGATIVE emotions (because they're, still, tabooed by the adult world here), how the FUCK (pardon…or don't!) are we supposed to, grow up, into, fully formed, adults in the minds?
The raging turbulences is just a small part of our lives in growing older, so, the next time your teenagers, started getting upset (and, you parents should develop a sort of a SIX SENSE better, I mean, my DOGS knew that I was about to blow, even before I did, because they "sensed" something weird in the air), just let them, fume it out, don't TRY to SNAP them out of it, let them, feel the full anger, then the, explosion, and if they throw things, that's okay too, just let them, EXPLODE, so they can, experience the calm that came, after the, explosion, and trust me, this would be, a whole lot better, than you, adults, rushing in, dragging them out of their, BAD moods, and that still, won't, work well!
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