A "case" of "love me love my dog", coming out of the closets to the families, for the first time, bringing him home to the New Year's Eve meal with you to meet everybody you loved…translated…
Grandma May Not Know it, & It's Not a Matter of Whether or Not She Wanted to Know, but a Matter of If She Does, or Doesn't, Know…………
Two weeks before the Chinese New Year's, I'd gone to Dihwa Street for the needed items, on New Year's Eve before light, the soup, the vegetable, the sticky rice, are all in place already. The supper table, red, full looking, grandma is slicing up the mullet eggs, dicing the pineapples, telling me to skewer them together, to set them onto the plates. The shark fins, in our convincing her, became the fish skins. We'd swept up the dining area, cleaned up the bathrooms, at five, before we all sat down to dine, our noses had their first filling of the foods, my uncle's family rushed over, sat around the table, making the gathering more rowdy and raucous. My grandmother was the last to sit down, with her sweats, rolling off her forehead, down her cheeks, in smiles, that was before when her face was covered in the, wrinkles.
"When are you bringing a girlfriend home to meet us?", around five years ago, when I was about marrying age, the words started, passing around on the tables. And so, I'd, excused myself, gone to the bathrooms, divert my families attention to alternative, subjects of discussions, and in the end, I'd just, spread my arms out, told my families, that I hadn't found anyone yet.
illustration from UDN.com
Grandma may not know, not that she didn't want to know, but if she could know the difference or not.
She knew that I had a roommate since my military service das, that we'd rented a stay together, work and live outside of my home county, and she'd, asked from time to time, if my roommate was, all right, and I'd, fooled everybody. Bringing my roommate home is totally different from bring a partner home, and this was the primary reason why I couldn't, take him home to meet the family, I wasn't, quite, ready, yet, it'd felt, nor was my family ready either.
Until year passed after year, and grandma stopped inquiring about my girlfriend. Instead, the tastes of the food became too salty, she'd often burned the wok. Until dad finally, BANNED her from, cooking altogether. Grandma sat on the tables, started recalling things from the past, and continued crying. Then, the foods got spilled all over the supper table, we'd assisted in cleaning up. The hired nurse entered into the "crew" of that red round table on New Year's Eve, and, the discussions started, surrounding the names.
"What's his name? I just told it to you, do you remember?", as grandma answered correctly, we all hollered and applauded her. In the cheers, my grandma didn't forget to ask me, "When are you getting, married?", I'm unsure if she'd misremembered my older male cousin's wedding as mine, or that in the depth of her memories, what worried her still was still my marital affairs?
This year, I'd worked up the courage, and took my, "roommate" home to meet the family. Until as we all sat down at the table, I'd only, realized, how scared I truly, was. He'd placed his hand gently on my lap, I'd still breathed hard, before I began eating, my stomach started, turning over inside.
before making that commitment, to share your lives together, you took him home to meet your family...photo from online
In a daze, grandma looked toward him, and asked me, "Why did you wait this long, to finally bring him home to meet the family, I'd waited for so long for you to introduce him to me.", I'd become, dumbfounded, stared at my grandmother, and it felt like someone had, grabbed my heart and pinched it tight, my heart skipped beats. And I'd, immediately apologized to grandma, suddenly, her eyes looked, very gentle and supportive, following that, she'd, gone into, a daze, again. In a daze, I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or if I was, awake, lowered my head to my food, and not a word more, only felt wet around my eyes, and warm on the, inside.
So, you'd been, fearful, maybe, to introduce your partner to your, families, because that would be you, coming out of the, closets, but, your grandmother already knew, and she loved you dearly, so naturally, she loves your, partner too,
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