... but He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 (AMP)
I have been meditating more on weakness, on being weak, and how this inexplicably appears to be something God wants me to pursue, as he said to Paul "My power is perfected in weakness." Then I "stumbled on" some old notes I wrote on Psalm 46:10, be still and know ...
Be still (slacken, abate, cease, fail, be faint, be feeble, let alone, be slack, stay, be still, be weak, sink, relax, sink down, let drop), and know (perceive, see, discern, know by experience, know me, recognize, admit, understand, acknowledge, confess, make known declare) that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:101
Do you see that? Part of the meaning of "be still" is to be weak, to fail, be feeble. After struggling for so long to be the strong one, the savior, it is freeing – and startling – to see that part of being still and knowing God is failing. That I come to know God by allowing myself to be, or simply acknowledging that I am, weak, faint, failing and feeble.
"We do not have power because we are not weak enough. The power of Christ 'is made perfect in weakness.' It is not that the Lord makes me powerful; but it is the Lord who is the power in my stead." --Watchman Nee2
The idea of pursuing weakness seems so counter cultural in these days of self-empowerment. Yet, that seems to be what God is proposing, indeed commanding, here: "Be weak and know Me. Stop trying, drop all your working and struggling, let your hands go slack, sink down, relax, rest in Me. Be weak and fail yes, but through that failure, perceive me, see, discern, know by experience, admit, understand, acknowledge, and confess who I AM."
He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. John 3:30 (NLT)
I see (and, oh, I hope I am finally getting it!) that I must stop trying to be the perfect one and the savior of my little world. I need to be weak, to be feeble and faint, fail and admit, acknowledge, confess who is really God. Know Him by experiencing Him catch me when I fall. The God who will not fail me. The God who will never abandon me. Just as Peter's feeble faith and failure to walk on water revealed to him something of the character and power of Jesus that otherwise he would not have known.
"Peter, unaccountably, suggests walking to Jesus on the water. Is this hubris? Or, simply an act from a heart longing for union with God? He walks on the water but fear undermines his trust. I think his failure opens to a deepening of a faith more secure than success might have offered. The loving Presence of the One lifts him from his terror. Peter may not remember how he walked on water, but he will remember how he was saved." -- Suzanne Guthrie3
Yes, Lord, let me be weak. Let me fail. Let me sink in the water that I might experience you lifting me up, that I might know you more and more. And that, in my weakness, your power may be shown most effectively, and, remembering how I was saved, I may acknowledge, confess, make known, and declare that You are the Savior.
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms ... Deuteronomy 33:27
... it is he who will save us. Isaiah 33:22
Image, detail from Herbert Boeckl's fresco "Saint Peter's rescue from the Lake Galilee" (1925) inside the cathedral of Maria Saal, community Maria Saal, district Klagenfurt-Land, Carinthia, Austria. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Maria_Saal_Herbert_Boeckl_Fresko_27102006_Ausschnitt.jpg
1 Definitions from Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon, and Strong's Exhaustive Concordance
2 The Collected Works of Watchman Nee, (Set 1) Vol. 11: The Present Testimony (4), God's center or the centrality and universality of God.
3 Soulwork Toward Sunday: Self-Guided Retreat, Proper 14 (Year A), "Fear Not, You Are Mine"
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