First, a disclaimer from the former special educator,: 1. Every child has a different readiness point for formal education and for learning math and reading skills. 2. Some kids are just difficult to motivate. I had a student from 3-7th grades and it took until 6th to motivate him. It just clicked.

Learning to read is hard work, harder for some than others. The level of expectation jumps so much in certain grade transitions, but the learning to read and basic math time is especially difficult. How do we help kids want to learn and still teach the necessary skills? If you are homeschooling you are only figuring out a few children compared to the public educator trying to motivate many. Bless them all!

Motivation

Whether you are homeschooling or trying to help your child catch up in their reading, spelling, and math levels at home, you need to know what motivates your child. What motivates them? What are they always asking for or asking to do? My oldest wants candy. My little guy wants video games. Now bring that and their toughest tasks to complete together. For instance, my little guy hates tidying up, so I give him extra time on his tablet for completing an extra cleaning task. My oldest struggles with reading and loves sweets, so he earns little candies (tinyones) for each group of words he reads without whining within 15 minutes. The candies are out so he can see them and smell them. I offer these incentives to both of them, but they are tailored to each child's struggles and desires.

The knights made patterns with their motivation candies.

Appropriate Level

Sometimes kids are being expected to perform at a level they just aren't ready for developmentally. I worked with a fifth grader for a year who was reading at a kindergarten level. His problem was not motivation. After intense remediation tailored to his level, he soared. I worked with a third grader who was almost completely deaf. Once we convinced her parents to let her have a hearing aide, she could finally begin to learn phonics. Be sure your child has the necessary equipment, knowledge and skills to build on or no amount of positive reinforcement will help them.

Teach Them How to Deal with Frustration

Everyone has some things they excel at and some they have to work at. This is a great opportunity to help your child learn how to cope with this fact of life. They will take their cues from the grownups on this. How do you react to your own shortcomings? Talk to your child about something you have to really work at. How do you react to your child's struggles ? When my knights are at their lowest, here is what we try:

  • Take a deep breath
  • Celebrate something they have done well, "Tripp, you are so great at persevering even when it's tough! Let's do this!"
  • Break the task into manageable parts , thinking out loud, connected to motivation (go overboard the first time). "For every line of words you read, you can have one piece of candy covered chocolate. I'm going to put it at the end of the line so you remember. Then it won't seem like so much." Or "Wes you are getting so strong and fast, let's see how fast we can pick up all the blocks. Would you like to pick a five minute timer on YouTube?"
  • Set a timer for no more than 15 minutes and stop.
  • Do a dance. Take a walk. Play outside. Something active and fun together. You don't want your only one-on-one with your child to be spent on frustrating things and they need the release.
  • If an assignment must be finished, go back to it through the same cycle.

Celebrate the Little Things

Little things are huge! Celebrate your child's success. Did they persevere through a tough assignment? Brag about them to your spouse, a grandparent, anyone, in front of your child. Is there an award or certificate? Take photos of your child holding it and send it to their mentor. Now, my children are at very different reading levels so I had to find a way to motivate without putting down. When either one of them levels up on their reading programs, they choose something fun to do as a family. We all win while celebrating the accomplishments of one. We are pass holders in a few places and they sometimes pick an arcade pizza place trip. Give your children appropriate and plausible choices for your family.

I hope these motivation tips help you navigate the "I can't" moments!

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