Where were you when America proved it valued White fear, tears, and hate over LIFE? Where were you when property mattered more than people? Where were you when, once again, America said, "We hate you"?

Being Black in America is hell. The disregard fuels your rage. Every NOT GUILTY validates your trepidations. Until eventually the terror of reality leaves you numb beyond the gut-wrenchingly painful truth…they hate you.

Why? Why America? Why are we ok with White men dying for standing with Black people? Why do protesters deserve to be shot in the street? Nothing should justify bullets in innocent bodies. You care more for an AK47-toting boy than a kid with a bag of freaking skittles and all because of color. One White. One Black. America, you are the mother of hate. You tell me so with the bullets, the not-guilty verdicts, and the white nationalist marches all over this country.

Please explain how someone scaling the capitol building and entering through a window broken by actual rioters is a hero? How are White men deserving of death simply because they were fighting for Black lives? How is a killer defending himself when HE BROUGHT HIMSELF TO THE FIGHT WITH A LOADED WEAPON? 

America, this is my country too! Black people deserve protection, and Black people deserve to matter. We died for this country. We built this country. Where are MY inalienable rights? America, where is MY justice? No justice, no peace. Where is MY peace? Why can't I go a single day without a reminder that you hate me and my children? 

The following is an excerpt from an essay I wrote the day the shooting happened in Kenosha:

"Racism allows Whites to create a narrative making these acts justifiable. It makes a hero of Rittenhouse while handcuffing a paralyzed Blake to his hospital bed. America is at another painful, racialized crossroad. We can confront privilege and oppression, or we can reinforce White supremacy and racism. The far-right is protecting Whiteness. The images of a raised Black fist, protesting just to live, is being used to scare Whites about the 'browning' of America. The narrative that the suburbs are under attack is coded language for 'Whites are under attack'. Many Whites are falling for the lies instead of listening to the truths of Black Americans. They don't see the pain of Breonna Taylor's mother just like many didn't see the pain of Emmit Till's mother." 

They do not see the murder that we watched live in Kenosha. They don't see the pain in Anthony Huber's girlfriend's tears. They didn't hear Gaige Grosskreutz when he said he feared for his life. 

I knew the plan for a narrative to justify his actions. Black folks knew, but this shit still hurts. This entire country is out to destroy people who look like me. This system worked. It backed the person it believes is always innocent. A White person who thinks white is right. This trial isn't the first one to end in an unjust verdict. When are we going to build a new justice system? This country will justify the killing of Black people and even White people if they are defending Black life. American White fear, tears, and hate are terrorizing my people, and the hate you breed will destroy you from the inside out. I guess white lives don't matter either.

Kenyona "Sunny" Matthews is a motivational speaker focusing on issues of diversity, inclusion, and anti-racism. She is a University of Akron School of Law graduate who focused civil liberties. She earned her bachelors from Guilford College majoring in Political Science, Philosophy, and African American Studies. She was an active college student helping to start an Anti-Racism team at Guilford College, responsible for organizing city-wide diversity/inclusion events, and developed coursework focusing on race and racism.

For booking and engagement inquiries email dimensionsofism@gmail.com

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