[New post] On Not Getting Everything You (Think You) Want
melissamleddy posted: " Earlier this summer, I had a job interview for what seemed like my dream job. It was a writing position in the education field, similar to the work I love doing for my higher-education freelance clients. Another plus: The job was part-time, which mea" Melissa Leddy
Earlier this summer, I had a job interview for what seemed like my dream job.
It was a writing position in the education field, similar to the work I love doing for my higher-education freelance clients. Another plus: The job was part-time, which meant I could continue my freelance work and even some of my library shifts. Wonderfully, too, the job was weekday-hours-only—my work schedule would match my daughters' school days.
A regular writing job that was interesting, well-paid and flexible. What more could I possibly want, right?
Before the job interview, I drove over to the nearest LOFT, where the extremely kind staff helped me find the perfect interview outfit. (In case you're curious, friends, I bought this beautiful tiled maxi dress, complemented by a white tunic cardigan. We felt this was the right mix of professional/approachable.)
The what-should-I-wear question now answered, I gathered work samples to share with the hiring manager, from the very first story I ever had published (at age 9!) to this magazine article I wrote for Loyola University Maryland (a piece I truly loved working on). I asked several colleagues if they'd be references for me. I practiced answers to potential interview questions, and solicited prayers and positive vibes from loved ones.
I felt prepared, polished, optimistic.
What more could I possibly want, right?
The job interview went well; it was a real conversation.
Then two days before our family beach vacation, I found out that while I'd be one of the top candidates for my dream job, the No. 1 candidate had been offered the job—and had accepted.
As anyone would be, I was disappointed. It can be painful learning that while you're good, you're not quite good enough.
I also agonized a bit over what I could have done better, or differently.
In the end, though, I accepted that the moment simply wasn't meant to be. There may be a future opportunity there, but for now...no. And that's OK.
It really is OK.
A quote that resonated with me recently is this one, from comedian Chris Hardwick: "The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who's always had everything work out for them with zero struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle—or they don't exist."
I have to admit, friends: I laughed out loud at "depth of a puddle."
Ultimately, I feel very thankful for my job interview. I genuinely enjoyed our conversation, and the hiring manager, who's a lovely person, said we'd keep in touch. Overall, it was a good experience.
Very coincidentally (if you happen to believe in coincidences—I'm not sure I do!), less than 24 hours after I learned the supposed dream job wasn't mine, a dear colleague got in touch to ask if I was available for some extended freelance writing and editing.
YES, I replied. As it turned out, I happened to be very available (and very excited) for this new project. YES.
Around this time, I also celebrated my one-work anniversary at the local public library. It felt really good to have made it one whole year. And while my current schedule there isn't perfect, it's OK.
So after I marked my library work anniversary, I had a heart-to-heart with myself. I decided I'd make a conscious effort to be more positive about my schedule because the column of "Things I Love" about my library job was (much) longer than the column of "Minor Grievances."
One of my first steps toward this effort was bringing chocolate-chip cookies to work on a Saturday morning. A small gesture, but a way to help make the best of working on a sunny summer Saturday. If I can't change my schedule, then I'll change how I respond to it.
(Cookies. Such an easy solution. Why did it take me so long to realize this? )
...if you happen to believe in coincidences—I'm not sure I do!...
The other evening at the library, a patron told me his son had loved the book "Moon Pops," which I'd recommended the last time we'd seen each other. Another patron checked out the book "I Am Charlotte Simmons," and we had a fun conversation about our shared love of its author, Tom Wolfe. "I even met him once," I said.
The patron couldn't believe it.
I smiled, remembering that evening, decades ago, in Richmond, Va. My friend Allison was part of an event that Tom Wolfe was participating in, and she found a way for me to meet one of my favorite authors at the reception afterwards. I hadn't thought about that chance encounter—that happy memory—in years.
Not until that evening at the library.
As human beings, we tell ourselves all kinds of stories to explain things we can't explain, or rationalize hurt away, or find the strength to move forward.
Sometimes, our stories are true.
The story I've been telling myself these last days of summer is this: You are where you're supposed to be. You're doing what you're meant to do. The people you have to meet, the stories you need to write—it's all here.
I read once, a long time ago, in a book about writing, that nobody wants to hear the story of a perfect day.
Why not?
Easy: That kind of story is boring.
The story of a perfect day. No struggle, no endeavor, no adventure. No wisdom or lessons learned.
Partly for this reason, then, I decided to share here the story of my imperfect job interview. To share with whomever may read this that I tried, and I failed, and it hurt.
I did not have a perfect day.
However...the world didn't end. I took a breath. Hugged my family.
And other good things, that I didn't know yet were out there...those good things happened. Maybe for the best.
Here's to not getting everything you (think you) wanted.
Photo credit: Pixabay
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