When it comes to relationships I believe there is far too much pressure to define a situation. I suppose my experiences have wholly dictated my perspective. My husband and I were dating for 9 years before we got married. We both knew how deeply we loved each other, so there was no reason to push towards "the next step." We had one another. That was all that mattered.
There's another side to that. Losing my husband has also caused me to question my ability to ever feel to that capacity, again. Therefore, defining a relationship, or situation, is not as important to me. Titles literally mean nothing. I have learned that a word doesn't make something more or less real. It's merely a summation of your situation.
They say there are 5 languages of love. Which means that it is defined by what makes you feel loved in a relationship. I know my most important language of love is quality time. I realized when I was with my husband that the time you spend with me will speak volumes over anything and everything else. You are giving up your time on this spiritual plane to be with me. That is an unrivaled devotion.
The time you spend with me, your efforts put towards knowing me and understanding me, is more definitive than any word or title you could drum up. Actions speak louder than words, always. Some people do not seem to gather that when I say that I am not only referring to physical actions but emotional and spiritual ones, as well. What I refer to goes far deeper than the physical realm.
I wonder if that's why so many people lean of titles and the definition of their relationship. Perhaps, for them, it's like an emotional security blanket. A reminder, of sorts, that they mean something to the person with which they are being vulnerable. I can appreciate that. Immensely. However, I can call a house a tomato all day that does not make it so.
The honesty of someone's intentions will lay in their actions and their actions alone. If someone continues to sing their admiration for you yet has not developed a stronger effort to spend time with you, then what? Is what they say still real? Perhaps. Perhaps not. How can you tell?
I'm sorry. I don't have an answer for that.
What I do is mentally collect all of the "red flag" puzzle pieces and see if they fit. If they give me more reason to believe their actions than their words, then I do. But only because they told me to. So if their actions scream illusion to their words, be cautious with your intentions. Im not saying don't continue on, that is your prerogative. But, first, if I may suggest, removing the blindfold of infatuation so you can see where you're going. And try not to fall on your face.
It hurts.
A lot.
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