52EssaysNextWave 46/52 52SlicesOfChingonaLife
Everyone has their favorite "Me" spot, the happy place, that one place where you can totally be yourself, where you can walk around thrashed, with bra or no bra, in your PJs, or with no clothes at all. Also important about your "Me" space, you've got to be as comfortable and yourself as possible, this is the spot where you can think, cry, laugh, plan our next move, get your power back.
I figured out today where MY "Me" space is.
I hadn't been out of the house in days now. I loaded up the car with my laundry, put my glasses on, started it up, and started to drive out of the Ranch.
Immediately, I took a deep breath, was it relief? As I drove off, I started to cry quietly, and then it was the ugly cry. So much emotion was pouring out, it was liberating to get all of this out of my system. There was so much sadness, sickness, guilt, anxiety, stress, relief, and more.
After the howling tears stopped, I started thinking about this outburst. I used to drive ALL of the time so I was used to being in the car more than anywhere else. I was also happy to live in my own place, but I have to accept that I was NEVER home. My real space was behind the wheel of my car where, 90% of the time, I was alone: I could practice what to do about this/that situation, what I was going to say at meetings/presentations, how I would react to emotional family things, the car became the place where I would pray every day, listen to the music I wanted to listen to (or not). As I was a super commuter, I could count on at least 4 hours a day to think about my life, what I wanted to do next.
I moved back home once Mama needed someone here more and have stayed on with Dad since her passing. I'm back in my own room and, while I'm happy to be here with Dad, it is not the same as when it was just me. Today reminded me that, for my sanity and mental health, that I need to spend more time in my happy space, to embrace the place where I feel powerful, positive, productive, and happy.
Everyone has that spot, it could be a tree, a chair, a lake, a room in your house, the beach or, like me, behind the wheel of my car. Make it a point to visit your "Happy" as much as you can. I was able to clear my mind today, to move a little more forward in juggling my life responsibilities taking care of people, being positive for my family, being healthy, working on my business, and calming the F down so that I can handle my life with joy.
Road trip in my future for sure but I'll be happy to just take a drive...
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