| Hi read,
How are you? Happy Spring!
We just got back from skiing in Montana for spring break. I love to ski, so I'm thrilled to see my boys enjoying their time on the slopes and improving on each ski trip we take (especially since my husband isn't a huge ski fan).
I was really proud of my boys on this trip. It was more than simply improving their skills.
First, my older son spoke up to say when he'd had enough. Rental ski boots can be uncomfortable, and his shins were sore. He asked to try snowboarding instead. He had been asking snowboarders who rode on the lifts with us about their tips for beginners. So, he talked to the school ski rental team and switched over to snowboarding equipment without my husband or me doing anything. He strapped on the snowboard and made his way down the bunny slope without lessons. He spoke up. He experimented. He fell. He laughed. He loved it! He's now a skier and a snowboarder.
My younger son stepped up his skiing game this trip. He took risks. He took what he learned in lessons and practiced and practiced when he skied with my husband and me in the afternoons. He asked for help when he needed it. And he kept trying, making consistent improvements over time. His internal voice said, "I can do this!" and he did.
And I realized these are things we need as we build confidence: - Ask for what you need. I say this often. It's important to take a moment to acknowledge that you need help, think through what you need, and then ask for it. I get that asking for help takes courage, especially if you've been the go-to person at work and/or at home. It's not a sign of weakness, though. It's a sign of strength and self-reflection.
- Understand who can help you. Don't try to figure it all out alone. And don't try to make it happen solo, whether at work or home. This is part of why your tribe -- both the professional and personal side -- can make a big difference.
- Learn from those around you. This is part of not trying to do it solo. Yes, you can learn from a course from an expert or a book (ahem…Mompowerment books!). You can also learn from those around you: colleagues, your manager or company leader, friends, or friends of friends. It's another reason to be intentional with how you build your network.
- Give yourself permission to be a beginner. If you're like one of the many working mamas I interviewed for the Mompowerment books, you're used to being a problem solver. You're often the go-to person who others go to. As you build confidence, though, you must get comfortable with trying new things instead of being the expert. It can be a mindset shift. You can improve your skills over time if you choose to.
- Manage your internal mean girl. As you learn new things or look for help, your internal voice might have some not-so-nice things to say. Don't let the voice in your head discourage you from trying new things. Remember that practice makes progress and (This side of things fits nicely with the last email about showing up for yourself. These are all ways that you can be at your best.)
You can build that confidence, one step at a time. You've got this!!
Sending good vibes,
Suzanne
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