On our last blog post we talked about building a strong relationship with our children, do check out the post as we revive our relationships and are in a season of teaching our blessings, modelling and most importantly sowing seeds that we would like to see grow. If you do not like the direction you are headed, you can still turn it around.
Related Post!
BUILD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN IN 9 WAYS
Today we are focusing on mommy and daddy, the foundational relationship that makes your family a family. This is the relationship when watered, thrives and feeds life to the entire family.
Children thrive in a peaceful, happy and warm home that is full of love which is life in itself. Prioritizing your relationship is not selfish at all but in fact when balanced well, you are making the right choices for your children. One thing for sure is that children notice and their reality is already being shaped about marriage now as they watch mom and dad. We have a chance to capture their hearts forever by being intentional about marriage.
That being said, Marriage has seasons, times, distractions like work, family members, finances, addictions that can really add weight and shift your focus from the main purpose why you are together and why you chose to love each other!
The other day as we talked with my husband, he emphasized that marriage is so spiritual and people are losing that aspect of how glorious marriage is. Marriage is about revealing Christ and the church and it is such a mystery that outside of God and not being aligned to His Word can cause much confusion and frustration.
Families need God, families need to lean on God like there is nothing else we see that we can lean on because there is no true leaning you can find anywhere else.
Let us pray for one another, pray for your family, your spouse for direction and clarity and I would like to begin right now and just pray for marriages to thrive, resurrect the fire of love, passion for each other.
Father, we thank you for this beautiful day that you have made for us to read such about marriage and see clearly the intentions you have for families through your Holy spirit.
We pray for your wisdom and understanding in our homes that reveal the truth about Christ and the Church and how you desire my marriage to manifest on this earth through us.
Rid us of pride and bring me into oneness with my spouse as my entire household serves you. May I be the vessel that brings out what you created my spouse to do on earth. Help me to comprehend my position spiritually concerning my marriage and my family and use that to serve others as I bring hope to other marriages and speak life unto families.
Father heal and restores my marriage and let not the weight of the days cause a discord in my marriage but may we live above any weight and glorify your name with my marriage.
In Jesus Name, Amen!
I have started with prayer because sometimes families are so frustrated words are just never enough to bring healing and clarity. However prayer goes to the places and depths that the flesh may have not perceived but the spirit who knows all things bring you to a place of clarity, wisdom and understanding.
Let us have fun today!
Love in Marriage
Why not start here and revive your love together, I am sure you remember quite vividly when you dated and got ready to marry your spouse.
Allow love to restore the intimacy in your marriage. (intimacy is more than just sex but let me use the dictionary form the internet)
in·ti·ma·cy -
close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
"the intimacy between a husband and wife"
What a glorious journey it was and you could not even articulate the contentment and fulfillment you felt within you before it was clouded with many days, seasons, situations, misunderstandings and those things do happen to the best marriages.
Today let us go to that place and allow God to take us to that place where there is absolutely no fear but love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-7
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b]6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends
What more can I add here? Love is everything, it is God Himself made flesh.
If you feel your heart has been gone too deep in bitterness or anger, pray God to heal you and He shall. Ask and you shall receive.
Sometimes what feels our hearts are just petty issues that have piled up and we have not discerned that they are unimportant until they corroded our beautiful Love.
Do something wonderful for your spouse today like;
- Make an awesome cup of coffee (made with love)
- Watch soccer with your spouse or watch their favorite series or reality show
- Cook his favorite meal
- Show support in their career, dreams, visions and partake
These are just examples, you know your spouse better and what they like.
What I love about this is it puts you in a position of power knowing that you have the power to build something beautiful and stop blaming anyone but take responsibility and understand your position. Then build consistency in that, practicing this lifestyle of giving.
Touch Your Spouse
Sit next to each other and just appreciate that you are both alive and well.
Reach out for each other and learn to stop suppressing what you desire to do. I honestly love walking hand in hand with my husband whether at home or in public spaces, we enjoy that. It does not mean we never experience anger towards each other, we do and life can be like that but we learn to do better, be better , be kind and embrace each other.
"I strongly believe marriage is about the grace of God more than perfection. It shows the love of Christ for the Church and the grace we see through the love of Christ" that alone evokes a deep level of intimacy.
Of course I understand there are children in the house and maybe a nanny (if she stays with you). However, you are the leader in your home as a couple and sometimes it may mean everyone else goes to sleep earlier to give you some space to be alone together as husband and wife which is vital marriage.
As women, we tend to push the man away a lot because we are emotional beings, we deal with issues different than a man would. Even what frustrated you at work can cause you to push a touch from your spouse away (as it continues to play in your mind). Learn to notice when it happens and start practicing to just allow your husband to touch you and reciprocate. Intimacy is not shameful but beautifully intended for us to enjoy.
Proverbs 5:18-19
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated[d] always in her love.
Make the time
A relationship is a living thing that needs to be nurtured by the people in the relationship. It does take work but may not necessarily be hard work but being intentional about your marriage (doing things on purpose). I do believe that it will call both of you to set time aside for the purpose o building a strong relationship.
It may be a challenge creating time for each other without clear direction of activities that will bring you closer if you do not plan.
It may as well turn out be a time where both of you are browsing through your cell phones if you are not intentional about your time together and we do not want that.
There is a certain level of your presence that is needed for your growth together just as you take time for worship. You need your heart to be in it and not double minded.
Sometimes as a couple you connect through sharing your dreams, visions, circumstances as you sip tea after work. I personally enjoy talking to my husband about my day and his day as I cook in the kitchen and he prepares tea for us.
Ideas
- Date Nights ( out or indoors)
- Movie night ( purpose I to focus on one thing together)
- Stay Cation ( holiday at home or your home country)
- A walk around the block
Do pay attention to intimacy killers because a movie may not necessarily make you connect as much as just having supper without any TV or gadget that may steal your attention.
As you rebuild your relationship you are creating that sensitivity of empathy for one another and you get to desire to do good things for one another.
What do you wish you can do together with your spouse that you have not in a long time? (Share in the comments) we are all learning and being made awake in our walk.
Well for me I really would love the old traditional way of preparing for a date, getting my hair done, nails done and outfit ready and just go all out specifically for our date together out in a new restaurant we have not tried before.
Create healthy Boundaries
I have observed in the years that I have been married that creating healthy boundaries together as a husband and a wife is one of the most important expressions of love you can show towards each other.
If you do not plan on this circumstances, friends, relatives, work, children will drive you their own direction that may not have the best intention at heart for your marriage.
Be very clear about the kind of marriage you desire to build and follow through with the life you live by creating healthy boundaries for yourselves.
Marriage is sacred and it is shared between yourself, your husband and God.
No man shall come in between and separate.
Understand that it is not just boundaries that are physical concerning your space and time alone but about information sharing.
It can be normal to share intimate parts of your relationship but you really do not have to. Love can neither be proven nor dis-proven, no man can comprehend the love you have for each other with your spouse as you cannot comprehend with your natural mind the Love of God.
You need not to explain your relationship to anyone, it is sacred! There are parts of your marriage you can only share with God not because you are fearful but you are keeping this sacred place called marriage Holy and undefiled.
People can defile you with their opinions and thoughts on marriages in general affecting perception, values and beliefs thus your intimacy with your spouse.
I love making this example, growing up spiritually I knew I had watch where my feet take me! literally!
I do not just sit with anyone but you will not find me where they reduce marriage to nothing with their words, I remove myself from there because I desire God to use my marriage to be the best bringing out of it rivers of living waters spreading to other families and showing that God is for marriage.
Proverbs 4:26
Give careful thought to the[c] paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
Sometimes separating yourself for marriage may mean not attending very popular events because you have gold that is so precious to you! May the spirit of God reveal what I am saying to you.
I was hoping to make this post short and sweet however I still think it will be even sweeter.
Let not people call, show up anytime they feel like in your space, plan around inviting people and let them not change your plans to be alone other times because your marriage is important but so are people but use wisdom to guide you.
Water Your Marriage
The grass looks greener on the other side. This can be your story without even noticing that you are making it your story.
Grass is greener where it is watered, no doubt about that.
It is time to stop paying attention to your neighbor's marriage but focus on building a beautiful one for you. Of course you will always learn something good from others, learn and take what works for you as a family.
Each marriage has its own lave language that may not look like the next family, right?
There are many ways we express love to one another and being different does not mean the other is less but it's worth celebrating too.
I love to make this example, I cannot force my husband to cook for me because most people think its romantic, and yet he does not enjoy that. Allow him to do what he loves to do for you, of course you can throw in ideas but allowing your spouse to express himself in his own love language is growth and maturity in your marriage.
Build up on this daily, dress your marriage, pray for your marriage and watch your intimacy grow.
Related Post!
The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It|Families|Lifestyles|Valentines & Comparing Ourselves
Intimacy In Friendship
John 15:15 (Christ and the Church)
15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
When the journey is long we tend to forget we are friends, we are one, and we play for the same team.
Remember that always in your journey, that you are one with your spouse no matter who is in the room with you or whatever you are facing. You are in it together!
Share your thoughts, fears, visions, dreams, and goals with your spouse and allow your spouse to share his with you. Grow in yearning to hear and desire for God to bring out the best in your spouse.
Be concerned about one another feeding your intimacy in your marriage.
Pray for Your Marriage
Some things will need you to speak over them honey.
Ephesians 6:12
12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [a]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
The spirit Of God goes to the depths of any circumstances and brings to life whatever has lost its fire.
It may happen that your spouse no longer expresses empathy towards you or you no longer even desire him around you. It may just be a heavy load from work or just spiritual blindness any of you may not be aware of. It is time to pray!
Pray for one another, pray together, you have the spiritual authority to pray over your spouse and to bring order in your house by speaking light and life.
It is time to rise above as families of God and let our spiritual lives be alive and stay connected to God. We will not leave it to chance but sow into our marriages. Sowing feeds the life into something that even generations to come eat the fruit thereof.
Marriage is a spiritual covenant, understand that so you can position yourself spiritually.
When you have been disconnected from God it can be a challenge even to pray, however set the time, read at least 5 verses a day (it may be more verses for you), meditate and ruminate on them and set the time to pray. Allow growth to come from that place of Power and be filled with power so you can just speak life upon certain circumstances.
Proverbs 4:18
18 The path of the righteous is like the morning sun,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
God has is bringing restoration and healing in marriages now in this season, may you be restored.
Intimacy Through Love making ( sex)
Sex was meant for us to enjoy it in marriage.
There is nothing shameful about creating an environment that allows you to have a healthy sex life together. There is oneness that is shared through sex as a couple that makes you more than just roommates.
One says (from building a foundation for a Godly marriage),
"where there is anger in marriage a couple can do everything else together like shopping, attending church, catching a movie except for sex."
So now be real with where you are so you can be able to correct where you are missing in intimacy. This can happen to anyone and what helps is to be honest with where you are.
Maybe all you need is to ask God to help you let go of anger, bitterness and rage.
Colossians 3:8
8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Psalms 37:8-9
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land
Let us cultivate a life where we take care of our spiritual lives as much as our physical lives or much more the spirit who knows all things, even the deep things of God. Know God for yourself, and as my sister shared with me yesterday she said.
"take care of yourself individually more than anything else, take care of your heart and develop yourself spiritually and speak life to yourself and everything else around you will align itself"
Matthew 6:33
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you
God Bless You and your families!
Wrapped In Love,
Futhi Mkhwanazi
No comments:
Post a Comment