Before I stopped drinking alcohol (as in: 6 weeks ago), I did a lot of research on things that could make my 'cold turkey' transition a little easier. Here are five things that I found that helped a lot of people, in the initial phase of quitting - so in the first couple of months. I hope they can help you too:
1. Have a solid why
We all know why it's not smart or healthy to drink. But for most people, this is not a reason to consider sobriety. Most people quit drinking for a very good and necessary pressing reason or thing happening in their life. Maybe you want to get pregnant, maybe your drinking really got out of hand, maybe you realize your health or fitness goals can't be met if you continue drinking, maybe you realize you have a bad influence on your surroundings.
Whatever it is, take a moment to truly think about why you want to quit drinking and why this particular thing is so important to you. How would your life be better if you go sober? What would you have that you don't have now? What would happen if you don't quit? Why is that not an option? Think hard and deep about your why - be honest - and write it down somewhere to come back to when you get tempted to drink.
2. Come up with a plan
For some people, it works to just quit the moment they think they never wanna drink again, and do the first few months on willpower. I'm not one of those people. For me so far, it really helps that I spent the last couple of months in 2023 researching, listening to podcasts, making lists of insights and tips, finding mocktail recipes and looking into new hobbies. Because for me, mindset is key, and I need some 'ammunition' to do this really hard thing (at least for me) and stick to it.
So instead of just cold turkey quitting and trying to not drink purely on discipline and willpower, maybe it works better for you too to come up with a plan, things to replace, things to do different, in order to make sure you get through the hard moments that automatically come with sobriety. And essentially, these 5 things are also part of that plan.
3. Find replacement drinks
No matter how much you change your life, social circle or habits after going sober, there will always be moments where you will crave a drink because you would always drink in these particular situations. Whether it's meeting up with your old drinking buddy, going out for dinner and not being able to order wine, or trying to unwind at night without your nightcap.
Non-alcoholic drinks can never replace that buzz that you are craving that alcoholic drinks would give you. That is something you're going to have to deal with. But to make NOT ordering an alcoholic drink easier in the moment, come up with some drinks you can drink instead. And do this while you're at home, still in your safe zone, and not yet in a craving.
For me, it works to plan ahead which drinks I'm going to order. If I just want to feel special, it's a pretty mocktail. If I'm going out for dinner, it's something that pairs really well with the food (for example: sushi for me always works well with ginger ale or tonic). If I want to wind down at night, it's a fancy tea, golden milk or a hot Beam drink to calm me down. Another thing that feels more special is ordering/making multiple drinks at once: for example a mocktail and a sparkling water. Or a cranberry juice and a tea. Or: adding a lime to your simple drink. I don't know why but it works.
Whatever drinks you replace your alcohol with: make a list of options and plan ahead to not get tempted to order your alcoholic beverage - or at least to already have ordered something 0.0% before the craving comes.
4. Pick up a new hobby
Once you quit drinking alcohol, you will notice that suddenly you have a lot of time on your hands. Going out at night is not that inviting anymore, you don't waste time on the weekends on hangovers, and your sober brain and body are somehow way more capable of doing things quick and efficiently than your drinking self was. So what are you going to do with all that time?
At first, you will like it because now you have time for all the projects you previously felt like you didn't have time for. Painting the bedroom, decluttering and organizing for example. But once all those jobs are done, a real boredom or 'missing out' feeling might follow. Especially if you have FOMO because your old friends are still going out every weekend, and are not available for social stuff on a Saturday morning.
But there's one upside: because you don't spend your money on alcohol anymore, you probably have money left to spend on a new hobby! For me, I really got into coloring. It might sound easy and boring, but something that makes the time go faster and takes my brain off of daily life is actually perfect right after going sober. I can watch my favorite shows or listen to a podcast while I'm doing it, and as well as being creative I like the satisfaction it gives me - every time I finish a part of the painting I feel accomplished, especially when I think I didn't need any alcohol to wind down and have fun.
Think about a hobby or interest that you always wanted to get into when you still thought that you didn't have the time fore it. Play a new instrument? Get more creative? Write a book, gardening, work on cars, baking, go to museums? This is the time to do it! It doesn't even need to be big or productive or make you a better person, as long as it makes you feel good and you can spend a lot of time doing it. Enjoy.
5. Find your safe people
The final thing you can do to make quitting alcohol easier is actually one of the most important things: surround yourself with a solid, safe and encouraging community of people. You're going through something hard, your life is changing in many ways, and the last thing you need is people who are not backing you up, discouraging you or making you feel bad about yourself.
It's hard to say, but you probably already know who those people are. We all know some people who don't get why you need to quit drinking and find your choice a little bit too uncomfortable or confronting ('Why can't you just have one?', 'You're boring since you quit drinking', 'If you're an alcoholic, how bad must I be?!').
And with those people it's important that you either keep your distance, have a serious talk with them or just try to see them on different moments in different settings. They are probably the ones you used to drink with, so now maybe see them for coffee, or go do something active instead. Or if they only liked you as a drinking buddy, maybe just accept that's all you were and move on.
On the other hand, there's a lot of 'safe' people that we want to hold on to and see frequently. People who have experienced what you're going through, are sober for another reason, or are not sober but agree with your decision and will support you in succeeding (a.k.a: are willing to not rub their drinking in your face, don't offer you drinks and support you in risky social situations). And honestly, those relationships will probably get stronger now that you're becoming your truer and healthier self.
This list might also include your therapist, anonymous people online, or that neighbor you donated your last bottles of wine to. It also helps to at least have one friend in mind you can talk to when things get really hard, who won't judge you when you relapse but WILL try to get you back on track in your darkest moments.
There's a lot more things I can share on this topic, so I definitely invite you to also read my other blogposts about sobriety. Feel free to leave your tips and comments down below!
xxx
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