Today, I'm still basking in the glow of my birthday that was Friday, March 22. How grateful I have been during my "birthday season" that began with celebrations the week before--and will continue into next week. I have the philosophy that the older you become the longer you should celebrate. At this rate, I think by the time I reach 100, I'll need to celebrate all year!!
My family says I make a "shrine" of my birthday cards--like Mama did!
Not everyone wants to make a big deal over birthdays; some people stop telling their age once they reach that certain benchmark that for them is "old age." Some folks will say, "It's just another day" --but is it really? Personally, I don't think it's too much to have one day in 365 that's "Your Day" that is set aside, recognized by ourselves and others, that's a time of celebration of the unique beings that each of us are.
Sometimes, I think birthdays are hard for people who weren't acknowledged in their families when they were growing up. I've met people who've said they rarely had a birthday cake or presents. While I come from what people may refer to as "humble" roots, Mama made each of us a homemade birthday cake and we received presents. Nothing was extravagant, and later I envied classmates who had cakes from one of our two hometown bakeries. It wasn't how lavish our celebration was; it was that we were individually acknowledged, special that day.
7th Birthday at side yard of Rosser home place with spirea bush in full bloom
Over the past year, I've read works by Thomas Moore, including Ageless Soul: The Lifelong Journey Toward Meaning and Joy. In that book, he looks at the difference in growing old--which is passive, contrasted with a more intentional, proactive aging. Moore sees the concept of aging as "becoming more of a person and more you over time." He compares human aging to that of wine and cheese, saying "time improves them as an inner and invisible alchemy transforms them and gives them taste and flavor." Rather than a view of growing old as a continuing process of greater and greater losses, Moore has a dynamic view because of his emphasis on soulful aging:
"We are not people simply dominated by time with its unwanted effects
We are Ageless people, too, participating in a Mysterious and Wonderful process in which
our eternal, unchanging selves (I prefer to call our soul) becomes more Visible over time."
When I frame my years in this context, I feel increased hopefulness about the future, about aging. Moore talks about how we carry our youth into our advancing years; that infusion of energy from our youth, along with our wisdom from aging, serves us well through all of our years.
Moore, in his chapter "Old Bodies, Young Souls", even goes as far as to say the we can be surprised in our older years to see an "unexpected revival of youth." (p35) Freed from some of our earlier constraints, our unchallenged beliefs and long held behaviors, Moore gives an example of an eighty-year old man who experiences this. When his wife died, he thought his life was over, that he would decline. But instead, with time, he was stunned that his spirit of earlier years returned and he realized some of his long held dreams. Moore asks the question, "Is the Return of Youth a natural occurrence that we ignore simply because we don't expect it?" Given our society's view of growing old--it's no wonder we don't expect it 😦
Kids from the neighborhood at my weekday celebration
One of the most influential presents I received as a girl, was from Grandma Smith (my only grandparent) on my 9th birthday; she gave me my first diary. How I treasured that locked red holder of my earliest thoughts and daily happenings in my young life. I like to think that grandma treasured my words, my unfolding--just as I do with my two grandsons. My first entries are very simple, with crossed-out words and corrected spelling--done retroactiviely once my elementary school spelling lists increased. I've kept a journal since those first days of writing in my red diary. I learned that recording my thoughts is essential and has helped me to navigate life.
Two days after "My Day," I'm still feeling the sweetness of all the birthday wishes conveyed in texts, calls, emails, cards, and celebrations. I look back at my life, my 69 years, and think of other birthdays and all the benchmarks of certain ages that I've passed. On Friday, I pulled the top card from my pack of prayer cards that were in a birthday package from a college friend. She and I have shared our Christian faith since we met freshman year, our dorm rooms across the hall from one another. The prayer verse from the Bible (Job 10:12) seemed fitting:
"You gave me life and showed me kindness, and your providence watched over my spirit."
Ultimately, I believe that it's God that has been watching over me as I've aged. And with the omnipotence, timelessness, divinity that is God, and is in all of us, I believe that we can Age Soulfully, living into our full potential, into who were were uniquely created to be.
Blessings to Each of You,
Connie
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