When I go out to empower girls, a common question I get is "Why girls?". My response has always been to educate them on the fact that women and girls are naturally classified as vulnerable globally.
Recently I had some time and started wondering, why we got classified as vulnerable and we dont even dispute it. We just roll with it.
So have you ever wondered why despite our education, experience, skills and achievement, we are still expected to marry a man to become celebrated as an achiever within friends and family?
When faced with this question, I realised, that my western counterparts might have a different perspective of vulnerability. While she is also vulnerable, our vulnerability differs.
As a Nigerian woman, I am not bothered about the acceptance of my sexual orientation, I am still trying to get my family to accept my right to be sexual or asexual regardless of my age.
Its 2024, and the choice to be educated or not is not dependent on the girl child but on her guardian (parents). Infact, female chuldren are more likely to be sent out to work earlier than boys in poor homes .
Her refusal to conform is often described as her becoming rebellious and she gets a variety of negative labels for refused to be commercial or emotionally exploited by her family.
The justification varies from her perfecting the art of housekeeping, birthing efficiently, perfecting submissive character and pleasing a man to her getting exposed to men financially better off than her those in her family.
Does anyone wonder how she feels? Would she would like to find a man in school? Maybe she wpuld like to apprentice instead of engage in commercial labour activities right from the cradle?
In my neighborhood, girls are getting pregnant as early as primary school as they strive to augment their parent's income by selling their bodies to oolder men and young voys experimenting with intimacy.
They cannot aspire to what they have been told is unattainable by people who never tried and are comfortable in their traumas.
Truly, to be a Nigerian woman is to wake up everyday knowing you have to prove that you are capable and your gender is not a limitation to your dreams.
A Nigerian woman knows the culture is quite blatant about its disapproval of your excellence especially when it overshadows your peers of opposite gender, because they fear that celebrating you would keep the suitors away.
But no one talks about the fact, that the other gender could strive to earn the right to stand by our side, instead of lowering the bar annd using tribe, religion, cultural social norms and huge income disparities to oppress the woman.
The current crop of men are too busy trying to keep the woman submissive to realise they are fast become oppressors of development and progressively reducing the quality of life for their own offsprings with oppressive laws often design to help citizens know their palce according to mostly insecure men.
Let our male children pick the challenge and earn the right to stand besides women who stand tall despite the hurdles. Let ur boys be taught to celebrate outstanding females and to stand with them not as a competition but as a team member.
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