A "chance" encounter that's offered hope to you and your mother, helped eased her mind, and as you came across it again, it'd, offered you that peace of mind as well…translated…
Upon reading the writer, Lee's "Lighting Up" on January 26th, it'd reminded me of many winters ago, when I was staying with my mother at the hospital.
It was Christmas Eve, but there's NO peace in the ward, the words of the families' saying their final words of thanks, of appreciation to their elders came from the adjacent bed, the words were too sorrowful, every word, heartbroken. My mother's moods swung, she'd complained of lower back pains, her chest felt stuffed up, couldn't get enough air in, I'd started, going between the nurse's station and her room repeatedly, I'd become, tired. Later, my mother blurted out, "it's too loud in the neighboring bed! I'm so scared! Can't you take me out of here?", and, I had to do something, and so, I'd, put her in a wheelchair, and started, aimlessly, pushing her down those, long hallways. As we'd walked around, leaving the lit up ward area, we got to the central dark hallways, I'd contemplated, where can I, take my, mother? This was, exactly like our, predicament right now, other than the deteriorating away of her systems, there's, no sense of the future.
like this...chasing away the darkness in a room...photo from online
As we got to the end of the hallways, I'd turned, and, my mother exclaimed, I also, stopped, a huge white, Christmas tree stood before us. With the colorful trinkets, the shiny decorative items on it, glistening in the, darkness, with the boxed up presents on the floor, there was, also a small house, surrounded by the, Christmas lights, with the angel figures all around the small house. This looked like a fairytale, it'd become this, gentle light, that found its way into my, despair. My mother said, "I thought there's no more path here, and, there's this, beautiful Christmas tree, so, no matter what happens, don't despair. Oh……and if one day I become an angel, I shall, watch, over you." My mother's words, made the lights come on before my sight, and, from the distance, we'd heard the caroling of "Silent Night", I'd wiped away my tears, told my mother, "Come, let's go and hear the carolers."
On the way back to the ward, we'd bumped into the young group of carolers, they'd handed a small bag of candy to my mother, wished her get well soon. And, the originally noisy, bed adjacent was already, cleared now, with my mildly demented mother, forgetting what she was, fearful about, she'd, smiled on, and took that bag of present into the hospital ward, and soon as I got her into bed, she'd fallen, fast, asleep. While that Christmas tree that stood so bright, with the shiny lights at the end of that hallway, stayed in my mind, it'd made me realized, that there's always a way.
Last Christmas Eve, my mother had already been an angel for five years, and I, after the thrills of my own surgery, saw that same healing Christmas tree, right where it'd, been, it'd, reignited the hopes in me. At that very moment of time, I felt nothing but, gratitude. I'm certain, that my mother had been, watching over me all this time, and the thought of "never give up", made my life okay.
So, this is the hope that you're desperately in need of, with your mother's growing older, and suffering from the symptoms of, dementia, and stumbling upon that Christmas tree at the hospital, it'd offered hope to you, and it'd made your mother felt at ease, and she's no longer scared, and, this time, as you're back in the hospital, that Christmas tree placed right where it once was, still offered you the light.
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