On how no matter how long it'd been, the grief is still there for us to, experiences, and these, "special occasions" hit the, hardest! Translated…
When I was preparing the meals, taking care of my young, when I'd needed to mop up the floors, I would, put the radio, on, the soundwaves would then, disperse through the room, and, my children and I became, afloat—in the oceans of my, memories then. Being in the waters, our skins were, completely, opened up, the messages we'd caught: yesterday, today, tomorrow, like at night before they go to bed, are filled, with the Taiwanese business service ads, that opened up to my winter and summer vacation memories, with that bag on my back, the radio loved to take me to my grandmother who'd been dead and gone a long, long time, I'd told her, "I'm a father now!"; like the afternoon at Central Broadcasting Radio, that announced the Summer Olympics in Seoul, in the Garden New City Community that I lived, the Uncle Chiao I'd met, as I'd stayed with my not-yet-married youngest sister-in-law's home, he'd come to Taiwan by himself back in 1949, missed out on his own children's coming of age, that summer, I'd stayed with him to listen to the games, and heard him told me stories of old.
the loss that will, never be, forgotten...photo from online
My thoughts became like the jellyfish, afloat, like that last Christmas morning news radio program that turned the world, upside down, "………this year, the Bethlehem Church will NOT set out any decorations…to place the Baby Jesus in the Stables over the Rubbles, Baby Jesus Born on the Broken Down Walls………", I'd thought my heart had, stopped beating, like the first, the second, the third fetuses, with the heartrate, suddenly, ceasing to, beat, like my once, unspoken wife, can't find any words………….At this timed, in that, place, Children's Holiday, Mother's Day, and Next Christmas, how do holidays like these, continue to get, celebrated? While, what I am working on right now, got halted, temporarily.
This is on, how the memories of the DEATHS that impacted you, halted you, right in your, tracks, just when you thought you'd, moved on, you actually, hadn't, and these particular occasions will always be, the hardest for us who'd lost children have to handle, because, we're already, reminded of how our children AREN'T here anymore, and on these special occasions, we'd felt, grief attacking us, even, harder than it does, compared to any other, days of the year.
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