Just because we've been married almost forever doesn't mean that the General and I amicably share everything. It has been so long ago that I don't remember when it occurred to us that we didn't have to share toothpaste. For the record, there really isn't a right way or a wrong way to squeeze toothpaste out of the tube.
It really shouldn't be a point of contention, but if you squeeze from the bottom instead of the middle, that doesn't mean your husband or wife sees it in the same way. Some of you are reading this and thinking, you people need to get a life. That's really not true. What we needed was separate tubes of toothpaste.
Presto – the problem was solved. Two tubes of toothpaste don't take up that much space in a drawer in the bathroom cabinet. Actually, I now have my own cabinet, and the General has her cabinet, but we haven't always had that good fortune.
How one uses a tube of toothpaste really should not be seen as a character flaw or a teaching moment for your partner. Save yourself some stress and invest in separate tubes of toothpaste.
I read somewhere years ago that getting married is a lot like shopping at a sidewalk sale. The merchandise always looks great, and the price is a bargain. It is as one might say, a lucky break.
However, once you get home with the table you bought on sale with a no return option, you find that one of the table legs may a 16th of an inch shorter than the other three legs. Immediately, that makes you a little crazy.
Yet, the table looks identical to the way it looked sitting on the sidewalk. Truth be told, if you put a small felt pad under the shorter leg, the table won't wobble, and you'll eventually forget that the table isn't perfect. No one will ever notice.
Truth be told, we are all flawed or at best a little strange. The General and I don't always think alike. Sometimes it may appear to her that I don't think at all. Just saying! The chink in the armor, so to speak, doesn't have to be a breaking point.
You would have thought the General grew up in the Great Depression. She believes "waste not/want not" is important. She's taught me well. The white tube of toothpaste in the picture is mine. Trust me, you could not squeeze any more toothpaste out of the tube. I know that because I tried.
I was surprised when I looked in my cabinet for more toothpaste and didn't find any. The General always purchases two of everything, and when one item is used, the person using it needs to add the used item to the grocery list. It was clearly an error on my part.
It was no big deal. It was 5:00 in the morning and the General was not going to know that I used her toothpaste. At least that was my initial thought. When I returned her toothpaste to the drawer in her cabinet, I couldn't remember if the opening end of the toothpaste was facing right or left. Would she? She probably would, but it appears that I'm home free.
We went to the store yesterday and I picked up two tubes of toothpaste. For that matter, the General wouldn't mind that I used toothpaste from her tube. She would mind that I didn't add toothpaste to the grocery list.
All My Best!
Don
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