Last night we got the news that one of our daughters had given birth to their 5th, (earthbound) child. They also have a few babies in heaven, from miscarriages. Just last year we had to endure the loss of a grandchild who was pretty far along in development when daughter went into early labor (too early!).
We've all had that heartbreaking experience on our minds during this pregnancy, praying like mad for healthy development and a full term pregnancy for this new little one. To complicate things, Mama has not been feeling well or sleeping well, thanks to some viruses that keep going round and round in their house. We were expecting baby to be born in the next couple of weeks, but suddenly, last night, baby decided it was time to get the heck out of there, so little one and Mama spent last night getting to know each other, and both of them are doing quite well, considering what mama has been through the past several weeks.
When we got the call with the news, my body went into a severe bout of shivering. I was pretty certain that this shivering was some sort of stress reaction (no doubt just another sign of my autoimmune illness). I did some research and found this information:
Characteristics of Anxiety Shivers
Anxiety shivers are most likely to happen when you are experiencing a heightened period of anxiety, such as during a panic attack or anxiety attack. Anxiety shivers can come on suddenly, and usually happen alongside other physical, emotional, and behavioral anxiety symptoms.
Yep, that's what happened! Sometimes my body goes into hypothermia, but I don't really shiver too much with that, my body just feels cold. I snuggle with the cats, and a heating pad until I warm up. But those anxiety shivers were a bit disruptive. I'm guessing they were triggered as a sort of "mega-stress release," because I've been worried for so long, and all that pent up emotion just "exploded!" I shook and shivered for a good ten minutes. Yikes, this autoimmune crisis that I find myself in does weird things to me! It seems like my body is always just one trigger away from a major meltdown. Honestly, I don't know what else to do, except my daily trudging along, resting as much as I can, while making and eating healthy foods from all of my "healing cookbooks"
One day at a time, lots of beans, lots of protein, lots of faith and prayer (but now, also, trip planning and a long drive before too long, to celebrate new baby's baptism. Hopefully I'll make it through that adventure without too much upset! But this morning I went to Mass to offer my abundant thanksgiving to God. We've been faithful through the suffering, and God has bestowed a sweet blessing upon our entire family. (And there are more to come!) Thank you Holy Spirit, for the gift of life, and for the gift of our beautiful family. We put all of our faith, and trust, and past suffering in your hands, to use for the sanctification of this broken world in which we live. Jesus Christ, King of Mercy, I trust in You!
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