 | twainausten Nov 21 | I've been a mother for over 22 years but not until my oldest daughter was 3 years old did I begin to build boundaries. It was pretty messy, as you can imagine. An earthquake domino drop occurred in every relationship. And though it was terribly uncomfortable, even scary (since there was a threat to my sense of security and confidence), that life earthquake began a domino drop of false identity and false self. This brought me a whole lot closer to my true self because who I was on the exterior began to align much more closely with who I was on the interior. Or another way of describing it can be explained in this very simple phrase: I was learning to come home to me. That is why I offer a homeschool mom podcast for boundary building. From that time on, I have been drawn to authenticity, freedom, and purpose. But there was work to do: I had to own who I was and why I was here on this planet. I had to own how I was speaking to myself, how I spoke to others, and how I expected others to speak to me, then begin to explore who I was, and how I wanted to show up in relationships and work toward healthy relationships with myself and with others. Boundaries have required me to assess my relationship with others but more importantly, my relationship with myself. If you identify with this then I want a boundary breakthrough for you too: if you'd like to consider coaching with me so you can walk toward your authenticity, internal freedom & more meaningful relationships in your life too, ask me for a link.
"To be yourself, in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Ralph Waldo Emerson
The homeschool mom podcast for boundary building helps me learn about myself: What I didn't realize before I began building boundaries is that it was a whole lot more than just "not feeling trampled upon". - I discovered that I could choose my activities and my people on purpose and feel so much freer and peaceful.
- I discovered that building boundaries meant I came into myself more. I established a relationship with myself and nurtured myself.
- I discovered that I could create boundaries, or in other words, determine how I wanted to show up in varying relationships intentionally.
- I discovered that I couldn't do everything, and I learned to make peace with that.
- I was more present with my kids and less reactive because I created a plan for those challenges.
- I listened to others more. I became less likely to "other" people: placing them into a category of good or bad.
- I've learned that there's a direct relationship between how well I know myself (& how much I'm honouring that person and walking in integrity with that person, me) and how strong my boundaries are.
- I built authentic, supportive connections that nurtured my true self.
Is this you? You know you have issues with boundaries but you're not clear why, and you're definitely not sure how to change it. Perhaps you spend too much time thinking about... - what other people think about your homeschool
- knowing that you want more time for yourself but not getting it
- answering the phone when you should be eyeball-to-eyeball with your kids
- recognizing that you need more time spent on developing you but are not sure how or where you can do that
- spending more time doing extracurriculars because people are asking you to participate, even though you want a quiet day at home
- giving your time away to meaningful things, but not the most important things
- fielding unsupportive questions about your homeschool choice
- feeling exhausted by conflict with your partner
- knowing you're not showing up as you'd like with your kids but you're not sure why
- feeling guilty or ashamed at how you're showing up with your kids
- desperately wanting a separate space or time away from your kids
- feeling your kids are mistreating you or disrespecting you, but you can't quite figure out if that is just them being kids
- you feel unsupported and you don't think you can ask even the most important people in your life to help
However, if you wonder if you need to do a little boundary-building, ask yourself: - Do you feel like you have to address every question your child/partner/friend asks no matter what you're doing at the moment?
- When someone asks for your help, do you have a hard time saying no?
- Do you feel like you never get to your thing, because you're helping someone else with their thing?
- Do you feel like someone consistently speaks unkindly or disrespectfully toward you but you don't want to address it because…
- Do you feel responsible for attending to needs outside your home, despite feeling extended within your home?
- When you set a boundary, do you feel like someone pushes back and won't allow you to maintain a boundary?
- Are you aware that your own limiting thoughts are keeping you from experiencing satisfaction in your homeschool mom life?
- Do you feel like you'd rather not set boundaries because it feels like you're letting others down?
- Are you familiar with boundary-breaking issues with your own parents but aren't sure how they influenced you?
- Do you feel like you'll lose important people in your life if you set boundaries?
- Do you have a difficult time making decisions?
Straight up, if you identify with these thoughts, you need to bolster your boundaries. Imagine if… - you were happy doing your homeschool thing and didn't feel triggered by what other people think about your homeschool
- you had enough time for yourself
- your kids knew they shouldn't interrupt you on the phone
- you knew who you were outside the homeschool mama role
- you were intentional about your homeschool activity choices and not doing them just because everyone else is doing them
- you felt supported in your homeschool choice
- you had the energy to engage your homeschooled kids
- you knew for sure you were showing up as you wanted with your kids
- you didn't feel guilty or ashamed at how you're showing up with your kids
- you didn't feel your kids were mistreating you or disrespecting you
I've come to understand that the energy we have for our homeschools (& lives) is directly proportional to our boundaries... - the boundaries we have in our relationships,
- the boundaries we have in our relationship with ourselves,
- and how we nurture ourselves, nurturing the nurturer.
What is the work of the interior we need to do to develop boundaries in our homeschool mom life? It could be any number of things: - Understand how our perspective isn't quite as we might be seeing our life or circumstances.
- Learn how to navigate conflict with our important others.
- Render our painful stories.
- Build resilience muscles to navigate the hard things.
- Create practices to feel fully alive in our lives and enable creativity.
- Construct to deal with our homeschool challenges, be super clear on what those challenges are, and have a plan to deal with them.
- Strengthen our ability to accept the realities of our life stories and approach them with acceptance.
- Recognize how we can create attachment and connection with our kids.
- Continue to hone in on the most important things, aka the simple things, the most valuable things to us, and live into them.
- Understand how we're relating to the activities we pursue, like homeschooling or mothering, and determine whether we know we're enough in those spaces.
- Build self-compassion strategies into our lives so we can be kind to ourselves, despite imperfections.
- Create a plan to tackle our big emotions, recognize our emotional atmosphere, and know how to deal with those emotions.
Along with a homeschool mom podcast for boundary building, I offer three ways to learn to build or bolster your boundaries. Use the Boundary Building Journaling Workbook for Homeschool Moms The "Build your Boundaries Journaling Workbook" is your guide to self-exploration and empowerment. This 31-page workbook, now on sale, delves into the core of boundaries, relationships, and identity. Through insightful journal questions and self-coaching tools, this workbook helps you unearth the reasons behind boundary issues and empowers you to clarify your needs, relationships, and sense of self. Whether you're navigating homeschooling challenges or seeking to redefine boundaries in various aspects of life, this workbook offers a transformative journey. It doesn't just address boundaries; it unlocks a deeper understanding of your purpose, transforming how you advocate for yourself and engage with the world. Written by a homeschooling mother who embarked on her boundary-setting journey, this workbook shares personal experiences and lessons learned. It's a beacon of authenticity, guiding you toward freedom and purpose by redefining relationships—both with others and, crucially, with yourself. If you find yourself caught in cycles of uncertainty, guilt, or exhaustion related to boundaries, this workbook is your compass to reclaiming authenticity and living purposefully. Unlock your truest self and reshape your relationships, create a life aligned with your vision and needs.
Building Boundaries Group Coaching or One-on-One Coaching for the homeschool mama who wants to clarify her needs, strengthen her relationships, and own her identity so she can become more her... Let's build boundaries into your homeschool & your life. Let's clarify your needs, your relationships, and your identity. Oh, and the biggest benefit: - practically transforming how you approach yourself (which directly influences others),
- shifting your relationships towards satisfying your needs & others' needs,
- clarifying your identity (& thereby your daily (& meta) purpose)
So that you can build boundaries that will transform how you learn to advocate for yourself so you can become more you and live your life on purpose.
The homeschool mom podcast for boundary building also offers other discussions on boundaries: The flip side of boundary building is developing our identity, so I offer you a variety of podcast episodes to dig deeper into who you are and why you need to choose personal growth in varying ways:
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Teresa Wiedrick I help overwhelmed homeschool mamas shed what's not working in their homeschool & life, so they can show up authentically, purposefully, and confidently in their homeschool & life. |
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