Summer is for Self Care..
I read somewhere that, often times nowadays, self love is described as selfish, or confused with selfishness. I don't think that Love is selfish. But i believe that Love should make you self aware of all the things that you ré ready to do, want, need and receive in return, all in the name of Love. Being self aware is not being selfish.
So, I came with few thoughts to share with some of us today, starting here…: Relationships are all about healing. Relationships, especially those based on genuine, stable, unconditional friendships, are good for you. They are not just for good people, they are also available to all people who need, and want healing in our lives. It's like going to the doctor… everybody thinks they are in "good" health, until they go to the doctor's office for a check up, right? Lol. Relax, i won't take your temperature today…ha!
I have to Say this: if you are not in the business of healing yourself, protecting your health, or working with another person on your healing journey, or theirs, then relationships are no good for you. They will drown and confuse you. If you are not in the business of healing at all, relationships won't help you. They will make things worse.
Now some of us may say, "isn't it too naïve to think that relationships help people heal; instead of saying "relationships confront people or somewhat expose people to being hurt"? Thank you for asking.
Maybe you have never been in a position where you needed healing as the only way out of depression. I have. Or maybe You' ve just never given up on yourself. I used to. Sometimes, we are the ones creating our own diseasess. And if you have not been there at all, it's not too late (not wishing that upon you). I mean, say for instance, if you were madly in love with somebody, or you really deeply cared about someone who happened to be sick, wouldn't you want that person to still be able to enjoy life caring for themselves just the same way you care for them? Here's what i mean: self love is all about that… learning, practicing and sharing wellness, and that's what self love does.
I'm by no means trying to give relationships advice on who you should pick, how you should pick, and why you should pick them. My goal is to encourage someone and make some of us aware that there are "secret" better benefits to good, healthy, relationships. You don't have to trick anybody to be your friends to have one friend, or be one.
Have another question for you… When you are Indeed sick, and ready to heal, do you trust yourself, or do you go to a good, certified, doctor? are you picky on the doctor you choose to go to for healing? Do you ask lots of questions? Are you pro active ? Would you take prescriptions, advice, recommandations … Exercice ? All my answers to these questions are: yes. What are yours? If your answers are the same as mine, it's more than likely that we are looking for the same things in relationships: safe, comfortable. Tested and approved. And most of all: Work-ing.
Nobody is safe living without healing (or at least without checking everybnow and then on his or her own health). Why be together with somebody else if you can do bad alll by yourself, right? I want to encourage you. "Using" relationships as a ground for healing is what makes them work. Don't seek relationships without knowing what part of you need healing. And what part is ready to offer healing. Search accordingly. Good doctors, like good friends, may sometimes be hard to find. But good doctors deserve good, better patients too.
Being a good patient (a good friend to yourself) is underrated and takes practice. Do not deny to yourself what a good doctor is, and a good doctor does, even when you can't seem to find one. But check on yourself first. Be good for practice to yourself. Enjoy educating yourself about what makes good relationships work. Unlearn the bad practices, the bad lessons. Be good to yourself by learning to treat yourself the same way you have others treat you. Expect good, and receive good in return. Good friends don't have to buy you drinks for you to know that they are good for your healing. It's your opporunity, and responsability to ask what you need, and offer what is needed to keep the relationship healthy and safe.
Know that there are people out there just like you who have been through the same hardship finding good relationships, just like you. Life happens. There's nothing wrong with looking for serious, genuine relationships that you deserve. Only, Unfortunately, friendships don't always come looking like what you want thème to or dream of. Or at least, it is only right that you have priorities concerning the types of relationships you are ready for. So expect work.
Finally, You don't have to be completely healed to find good and enjoy good relationships. But you do have to know what good is, and what good does
Enjoy your Summer journey...
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