"Been a while", He smiled.
"Certainly been a while", She agreed as she sat down, "You look good".
Wish I could say the same about you, he thought as he surveyed her in the dim light of this shady establishment.
It was surreal to see Adeel, just like that, sprouting up from the very earth he had buried her in. She had always thought that when they'd see each other there would be a barrage of emotions, all negative that would consume her. Sitting here now, she could only remember the time they were together. It was good.
Did she love him? Guess she did. When he seemed to be the only way out, it wasn't hard to fall in love with him.
Had she thought he was different? Probably. That was the only fatal mistake in that whole affair.
"I've missed you", He said simply.
The words echoed around her. For a moment, everything cleared and all that remained were hot afternoons in Adeel's apartment, where two people tried to change the tides.
"I've missed you too", She averted her gaze from his face and looked around her. She had to be spotted. It was important. The sooner, the better!
"I can't believe you are here", He said, his husky voice causing the hair on her back stand, "I never thought you'd come back to me. How can I thank you?"
"So many ways in which you can thank me", She smiled indulgently, "I wouldn't think you'd have trouble coming up with something".
He laughed.
"How's Amira?" He finally asked. She had thought Amira would have come up before twenty minutes of conversation.
"She's well", Somehow this choked her.
He was quiet for many minutes. She didn't fill the silence.
Sadism, something that she had hated in Arshad, had now become a form of vindication. It felt good to leave Amira's name hanging. It felt good to watch Adeel trying to come up with some bizarre way in which he could climb over Amira's name and get to the purpose of this meeting.
"I've made many mistakes", He finally said like he had rehearsed it and just now remembered, "But not acknowledging my child seems to stand out among many big ones. She's so young that I can't even ask her for forgiveness. But can you forgive me, Kausar?"
Someone should open a window, she thought as her throat tightened, this is awfully hot and stifling. How do people even work here or eat?
"I implore you", He reached forward and held her right hand, "To forgive me. Please! Give me a chance".
He seemed contrite. She felt ashamed of herself. What would be the difference between them if she used him to get to where she needed? Maybe there was a way to do this without harming Adeel? She wondered. He maybe a scoundrel but no one deserved the pain of abandonment.
Think about yourself, someone scolded her. Think of yourself and your kids. Think of Rabia's kids. Consider this a payback. Why pity Adeel? He's where everything started.
"What are you thinking?" He was still holding her hand.
She gently pulled it.
"It's been so long", She wasn't lying, "I don't think anymore. My life is always waiting for another chaos to begin. I've lost the faculties that think".
"Things can turn around", She detected old signs of pressured speech, "We can rule the world. Just because we lost the chance to be together once….. Really, Kausar! What you are and who you are to me has become glaringly clear in the last few years. I want everything back, including my daughter".
"I'm not the same person I was", Somehow it was important to be a little truthful. He had been with many women and was as shrewd as they came. Bluffing him overwhelmingly would be hard. All she needed was information. Anything else that came would be just serendipity. "I have four kids now. I….."
"Four kids?" He spluttered, "What four kids?"
"I married Hamza, Arshad's brother", She said simply, "And even before that happened, Arshad and I had adopted their kids because Appa wanted me to".
His head was spinning. So she was married?
"I didn't think you were married again", His voice seemed distant.
"If you could call it a marriage", She said, "We are married on paper. We don't share a life together. It's a relationship of convenience and coverture. Nothing else! But those kids are mine and I care for them like I care for my own".
This was more complex than he had thought. She'd have to get a divorce if he wanted to be married to her again.
But I don't have to marry her, an inner voice spoke up, I just have to leave here with her and get to the USA. She might marry me without asking for a divorce from Hamza. She's so dumb. It's probably good for her to remain married to Hamza. When I dump her, she'd have someone to go back to.
Charged by his altruism, he said,
"They're mine too if they're yours".
She looked up.
"I want you back, Kausar! And I want to raise a family with you. Can you give me another chance?"
No! She said to herself. I can never give you another chance. A snake can't keep from biting. A scorpion can't keep from stinging.
"I have nothing to lose now, Adeel!" She gently stroked his hand, "So maybe I have become fearless. I need to get out of here. I had never thought I'd be living this life in my prime. When you texted me I was angry. But it's hard to be angry with you for long. I'm not giving you another chance. I'm taking a chance for us. For a family that we can have together".
He enthusiastically squeezed her hand.
She chatted for a few more minutes and after confirming plans to meet the next day in the same cafe, they parted.
He had thought it would be easier than this. All things aside, even Kausar herself seemed less surmountable than she ever had before. She seemed guarded and even though it didn't take long for her to warm up to him, the way she had been open to discuss getting back together with him, something seemed amiss.
I don't have to worry about the logistics of it, he shook his head. I have to make sure the house is in order, book tickets with her money, take her to the USA, marry her, get my green card and then everything will fall into place. She'll get away from this miserable life if she so wants. She can go back to it if she wishes to. I won't have any strings attached from there on.
He had to, however, secure his interests even though this seemed a very ironclad plan. Arshad's house was given to him as a way to ensure his silence. He had to make sure that the first order of business was to have joint and then singular ownership of it. If he played his cards right, the house would be sellable soon after the divorce. He had to make sure life didn't cheat on him this time.
His mind went back several years.
"Arshad wanted me to have the house, Uncle!"
"But it wasn't his to give, son", Faraz said smoothly, his voice never losing the composure that it had probably accrued after stepping on many toes, "Arshad had money loaned to him by me for that house. I'll be the owner since Arshad is no more. I don't have plans to own the house, just so you know. I'll leave it there as something that Musa can one day occupy if he needed it".
"I have nothing", He almost cried, "And this house would've been my last support. I have no income. How do you expect me to afford a place, food….."
"Well", Faraz cut him off, "As I see it, you either need to get a job or you need to come back. I can't help you with planning your future. God knows I raised my sons a long time ago".
He was humiliated but didn't let go.
"I'm willing to be of any use to you in exchange for this kindness. I'm willing to give the house back to you once I get my footing back here. I…."
"Whose name is the house in?" Faraz asked sharply.
This was a tough question to answer. As bizarre as Arshad and Kausar's relationship had been, he had trusted his unfaithful wife a lot more than he had Adeel. Merely a week before Arshad left for Pakistan on the last trip of his life, he had transferred the house into Kausar's name. Kausar didn't know but it showed how much he trusted Kausar to always safeguard Musa's right. As diabolical as he had thought of her as a wife, this was a testament to what his feelings were about her when it came to her role as a mother. It had surprised Adeel but at that point, he had never thought that he'd have any shot at this property. For a man who scavenged through crumbs, having a house in one of the most affluent neighborhoods of New Jersey was an extremely attractive prospect once it started shaping up. And then, everything collapsed.
"Kausar!" Adeel breathed.
Suddenly Faraz changed his tack.
"Take it", He had said benevolently, "But I need you to give me your word that you'll never let it out that it belongs to her. I will take everything from you if she finds out that there's a home that she can return to".
He had been so happy to have gotten his way. But just a house couldn't assure anything for him. Selling someone else's property without their permission isn't possible at all. He could live there and pretend it was his but when no jobs or business opportunities came his way, he had to lock the house and come back to Pakistan empty-handed with a pit in his soul.
The house stood abandoned and unclaimed. What a pity! It was worth about two million dollars.
But now he could have it and could actually have it in his name. When Kausar would get to the USA, making her sign documents wouldn't be hard. It was all a matter of time.
All good things for those who wait, he smiled sweetly.
She asked the driver to take her to the bank. He obediently changed lanes and turned left.
It was so hard to manage money again. She had lost every ounce of control that she had gained while working in the USA. For the last many years that she had been Hamza's wife, money had come either through some random amount being deposited in her account by Hamza occasionally or largely from Rasheed. She had had no steady source of income. She couldn't budget. She couldn't save. But she had something. Something that had always been hers. Even when she hadn't used it.
"But if my husband has passed away", She reasoned patiently, "How can I bring him to an appointment? My jewelry will remain here forever if that's the only way to get it".
"You can bring his death certificate", The woman behind the counter said, "We accept documentation to support death and divorce".
She stared at her hands. Documentation to support death? Guess this world did have trust issues.
"Why would I lie about it?" She said pleadingly, "I need my jewelry. I deposited it here with him years ago".
"If you bring documentation to support death, we can open your locker".
She was dejected. Who was she going to go to for Arshad's documents? She knew that Faraz probably had it and there was no way he would be helping her with any escape plans.
Her day had been heavy. Seeing Adeel and talking to him had been somewhat anticlimactic. She had thought she'd receive a more appropriate apology. A part of her had wanted to hear that he still loved her. Another part had thought that he'd have an extremely good reason for doing what he did. There was a hope that something would help him win her over. But there had been none!
It's for the better anyway, she consoled herself. I wouldn't have forgiven him. It would've just been an extra layer of emotion to work through. Right now, we are going to get even. I won't owe him anything when this is over.
The kids came home early. She noticed Hamza's car pulling into the driveway soon after. He got out, looking extremely attractive in a white shalwar kurta with his aviators on. Maybe if she asked him for more money, he'd give it to her without asking why she needed it.
"Do you think we could get away for a bit?" He asked, a sultry lilt to his voice. She felt nauseous.
"Erm", She started to think of an excuse. Even though a lot depended on developing a relationship with him, it was hard work.
"Why are you not wearing any jewelry?" He asked abruptly.
She couldn't believe the serendipity of it.
"I don't have any", She said, rubbing her hands, "I tried to find some in my suitcase but I don't know where I put them. Maybe they're in the locker that Arshad and I shared".
"Oh", His face fell at Arshad's mention but then lightened up immediately, "Why can't we borrow some from Ami? I don't like seeing you like this. When Rabia was alive….."
He abruptly stopped.
"I can't borrow Aunty's jewelry", Kausar said, hesitating but taking the plunge anyway, "Mine is in a safety deposit box at the bank. I haven't been to the bank in so many years and I had that account with Arshad. I'm not even sure if I could access it".
"Why would you not be able to access it?"
"I think you need all the members who have a joint account present to open the deposit box".
"But Arshad is dead", He said stupidly.
"Which is why I think I need to take a look at it again. They might ask for his death certificate but I don't even have that".
"Wait a minute!" He raised a hand, "Papa has it. Wait right here".
He flew to Faraz's room. Faraz wasn't home. Kausar followed him. This room even without Faraz was scary and intimidating.
She saw him rummaging in a drawer. Soon he raised a hand triumphantly.
"Anything you need, ask me. But we can't go out like this. Why don't you borrow one of the many outfits that Rabia never wore? She lost a lot of weight in her last days so a lot of outfits didn't get worn by her. Please wear them! I see those outfits and lament the wife and money that I don't have anymore. You can put them to good use".
He was truly Arshad's brother. She stared at the piece of paper. It was this easy? Guess for a man it was this easy!
"Sure!" She didn't know how to oppose this idea.
"And I'll get something from Rabia's jewelry for the time being. We can't go out for a romantic evening with you looking like a widow. You're not a widow anymore", He held her hand tenderly, "You are my wife and I want you to always remember that".
Tears choked her. Rabia's clothes and her jewelry couldn't save Rabia. Maybe they could finally save someone!
He next swept off to Nasima's room.
"What purpose do you have of Rabia's jewelry?" Kausar heard Nasima's voice.
"I need it for Kausar", Hamza said as she heard the faint clinking of metal.
"Stand back! Stand back!" Nasima barked.
"Ami!" He yelled back, "It's my wife's. I bought a lot of it for her. Do you have no compassion? Kausar spends her days and nights like the same widow that she was years ago. I'm taking this!" He seemed to be showing something to her as Nasima's feeble protests issued from her emaciated body.
He triumphantly stepped out. In his hands he carried something that shone through the darkness of this particularly dark evening. He took her hands and tipped the contents of his into hers.
It was a string of pearls. He also had matching earrings. She examined it all, nausea consuming her being. Somewhere a woman's wail pierced her heart. It seemed to be coming from the pearls.
"Put them on", He said, his eyes wet with desire at what was going to happen very soon.
Wordlessly, she put the pearls on. Somehow the string was tighter around her neck than she had anticipated.
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