I was surprised to hear in a song recently the line "Love doesn't need any words."
The song went on to say that love is "proven by the things we do and not say --
for actions speak louder than words."
Well, it's true that actions can belie words. It's true that actions and words need to line up. It's true that love needs actions as well as words.
But I wouldn't say that love doesn't need words.
If you're familiar with the five "love languages" as taught by Gary Chapman, you know that words are one of the five. The rest are quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Chapman's premise is that we all give and receive love in these ways, but usually one or two of them make us most feel loved. He tries to make people understand that if you do things for your loved one all day (acts of service), but their love language is words of affirmation, they are not going to feel loved. Conversely, if their love language is acts of service, and you tell them several times a day that you love them, the words are going to ring hollow if you never help them in the kitchen or do anything for them. So we should try to find the way our loved one most perceives love and express our love that way.
I've not read Chapman's book, but I have heard these things taught many times. There may be some caveats concerning the idea of love languages, but I think the basic idea is sound.
But this idea of not needing words reminds me of a quote attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words." I just saw that Francis is not known to have said this. I am not surprised, because it always bothered me. It's true that our lives should demonstrate what we believe. But someone likened this to saying, "Feed starving children; when necessary use food."
The gospel is made up of words. It's "the power of God for salvation" (Romans 1:16).
Jesus Himself is called the Word of God. He said, "The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life" (John 6:63). He also said, "Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you" (John 15:3).
Paul said, "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." (Romans 10:17). Paul also said the gospel is the power of God unto salvation.
The Bible has much to say about words.
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits (Proverbs 18:21).
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12: 36-37).
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
There are times not to use words. Ecclesiastes tells us there is "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak" (3:7). When Elijah was so discouraged after his encounter with Jezebel, an angel let him sleep and fed him before his encounter with the Lord. Jesus told His disciples at one point, "I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now" (John 16:12).
The Bible says so much more about words: the power of the Word of God, how we use words, what we use them for.
We're to speak true words, but we're not to browbeat with them.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone (which Pulpit Commentary says means, "gentle, conciliating words, overcome opposition, and disarm the most determined enemy, and make tender in him that which was hardest and most uncompromising) (Proverbs 25:15).
A gentle (wholesome, healed, soothing in other translations) tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4).
Words can tear down, wound, and deceive. Words can build up, sooth, and encourage,
May God give us wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent and grace to help our words and actions to honor and rightly reflect Him.
(I often link up with some of these bloggers.)
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