Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
The word translated "offensive" in the above verse means "idol, sorrow, wicked." The NET Bible translates the verse this way: See if there is any idolatrous tendency in me, and lead me in the reliable ancient path!
I believe that Psalm 139:23-24 is the core prayer of the Bible. And it is not one to pray lightly, because God will answer it. The idolatrous tendencies God reveals, and the ancient path he demands, may be difficult to accept. It's a whole lot easier to not pray this prayer. It's much easier to delude oneself. Which leads me to, arguably, the second most important prayer:
Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. Psalm 119:29 (NLT)
Keep me from lying to myself. Wow. Yes, sometimes the lie is very attractive and self-justifying, especially when I really, really, really don't want to do something. "But surely God you didn't mean that! To love everybody, to honor difficult parents and spouses, to pray for every leader? Right? You didn't mean to really wash feet, touch lepers, visit criminals, love the alien, feed all those poor. You said, yourself, they would always be there. It's metaphor, right?"
Give me the privilege of knowing your instructions. I looked it up. That means give me grace, or "yearn towards, long for, be merciful, compassionate, favorable, inclined towards" me so that I will be able to see and know what you really want from me. To know what deeply delights/pleases you. And probably also so that I can/will yearn towards, long for, be merciful, compassionate, favorable, inclined towards those other unlovable people that for some reason you care so much for. Sometimes, I confess, I'm not so sure about the "privilege" part.
Many times, I am tempted to wish the lie were true. I want to just go my own way, decide what's best for me. I want to admire the metaphor from a distance when you want me to walk with you on the ancient path and become like you.
"O Lord Jesus Christ, Thou didst not come to the world to be served, but also surely not to be admired or in that sense to be worshipped. Thou wast the way and the truth - and it was followers only Thou didst demand. Arouse us therefore if we have dozed away into this delusion, save us from the error of wishing to admire Thee instead of being willing to follow Thee and to resemble Thee." -- Kierkegaard, Prayers of Kierkegaard
"If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32 (ESV)
Photo and blog copyright Sheila Bair 2024
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