Thursday, July 4, 2024

Musings of a Parent

By Daramola O. T, on July 4, 2024

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It is another Saturday morning and Mama Bola is shouting at the top of ber lungs, trying to get her two children, Bola and Tunji to help her out with chores.
Bola and Tunji however have different ideas on where they want to expend their energy as they have gone to the end of the street to help the CDA with cleaning the walkway.
One wonders why the children would go to help the community without helping at home. The reason is right within the home and parents need to be open minded and begin to explore why children seem to seek inclusion outside the home despite our best efforts as parents.

Many homes are deemed safe by adults without thought for the point of view of the children. Homes are often structured long before the children arrive and very few homes go out of their way to integrate the children. It is more common to try to fit the child into existing structures instead of the other way round.
This method is birthed in many existing subtle beliefs. The belief that a child is a blank slate to be moulded as parents desire, the belief that a child should be moulded for the society he or she finds himself or herself.

While all our beliefs have roots in our personal history, it is also important to begin to evolve to the point where we identify each child as an individual and interact with them in that capacity.
Understanding and accepting that children are not as blank as we assume, realising that we need to observe and learn our children so we can help them build a secure space that includes us would go a long way in helping us avoid Mama Bola's dilemma.

If we can review our parents' relationship with this backdrop, we might be able to restore the strong family units with the values that ensured strong communities.
We can do one intentional parent at a time.