… the Lord is our king; it is he who will save us. Isaiah 33:22
For a long time, a have been struggling along, trying to save the world, sometimes feeling like at the brink of nervous breakdown. I've been asking God to help me save it, of course. But now I see that I have been praying the wrong prayer. I don't need to ask God to help me save my world, I needed to ask God to take over and do it.
"The all-important rule is not to 'try' but to 'trust,' not to depend upon our own strength but upon his … Too many of us are caught acting as Christians. The life of many Christians today is largely a pretense. They live a 'spiritual' life, talk a 'spiritual' language, adopt 'spiritual' attitudes, but they are doing the whole thing themselves." -- Watchman Nee, Sit, Walk, Stand
Ouch, I think I have been "caught acting" as a Christian. Yes, I know that I still have to keep taking the next step, the next breath. I still have to open my mouth and speak life and pray, and I still have to fling my little smooth stones at my Goliaths. But the stones, the words, the power, the battle, the victory, the love and the glory are all the Lord's. And sometimes (many times), I just need to give up and rest, trust, and let Him carry me.
Be still and know …
I have long been captivated by the beautiful picture Isaiah reveals of the river of God's grace.
There the Lord will be our Mighty One.
It will be like a place of broad rivers and streams.
No galley with oars will ride them,
no mighty ship will sail them.
For the Lord is our judge,
the Lord is our lawgiver,
the Lord is our king;
it is he who will save us.
Your rigging hangs loose:
The mast is not held secure,
the sail is not spread. Isaiah 33:21-23
Isn't that a picture of surrender? Of rest? There is no "trying" there - no straining at the oars, not even a sail on my little boat, but carried down the mighty, unstoppable, irresistible river solely by the power of God.
Praise the Lord; praise God our savior! For each day he carries us in his arms. Psalm 68:19 (NLT)
Why does it take so long to get this? At least, why has it taken me so long? As Watchman Nee said, you can be acting like a Christian but, like me, all along be trusting in myself to be the savior of the world, thinking that it's all up to me. So afraid that if I don't do it, the whole world will fall apart. (Maybe also afraid that the current of God's love will take me where I don't want to go.)
That is not being a Christian at all. It's not up to me. It's Him living in me. It always has been. I'm sorry if this seems jumbled. I am still wrestling with it at the core of my being. Being the savior, the fixer, the one who holds everything together, was drummed into me as my identity from a young age. Yet, I am none of those things!
I am simply His.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! Psalm 46:10 (ESV)
Thus says the Lord to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's ... You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf ... 2 Chronicles 20:17 (ESV)
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
"Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self." -- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Photo by Derek Bair, all rights reserved
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