Yesterday I blogged about my ECT not being as effective as in the past, but today I'm feeling a little better. I've been productive, cleaning and organizing various parts of the house , so that's something. I'm trying not to be negative about the situation, but sometimes it's hard to get past "it's not fair!" especially when I try so hard to maintain my mental health. So hard.

It's all I ever think about sometimes, and despite my habits in the past, I haven't done anything to sabotage it (such as missing my meds, not going to therapy, etc). Nearly every one of my actions is to ensure I'm healthy as possible, so it's very offensive when my ECTs don't echo that. OK, I've stewed enough about it.

This coming week is a big one — I'm the main speaker at the Suicide Prevention Symposium put on by the Suicide Prevention Coalition of the Coastal Bend. I'm very excited and a lot nervous, but I wrote my speech last week so I should be good to go after practicing it 800 times before Thursday night.

I'm going to take the next couple of days and decide if I need another ECT next week. I'm hoping I'll inexplicably bounce back. Any good vibes you want to send, please do. I hope you all have an amazing Labor Day weekend and week to follow.

Stay in the light.