My LogoFiles posted: " I said I would come back, and return I have. No, I did not ever continue with my past details as previously promised. That is because it is boring. Mad stodgy. However, I feel like without you having a bit of history, some matters would be puzzling. Basi"
I said I would come back, and return I have. No, I did not ever continue with my past details as previously promised. That is because it is boring. Mad stodgy. However, I feel like without you having a bit of history, some matters would be puzzling. Basically, in a very large nutshell (I am the world's worst summarizer), I went from an internship and straight to a wedding ceremony. My own. I had overstayed my internship, thoroughly enjoying the absence of pressure, and did not leave until I was kicked in my butt. I was fully capable of going on to a legitimate job my mentor said, there was no more to teach, it was time to get real life experience in the big, bad world. Cue the whining, But I don't wanna....
And you know what? I didn't.
Mistake or not, it was done. I walked away because it was easier. I ditched it because there is a lot less anxiety in quitting. I was saved from the certification exams and free from work pressure. Marriage it was. My best friend and I were hitched, and we flew off to a country far, far away. Many years, many stories, six boys, and lots of life experiences later, I decided resolutely that the feelings of inadequacy and insignificance needed to stop. Motherhood full-time, irresponsibly dismissing self-care, questioning my sense of self, all suddenly created someone that felt less then. I hadn't been a priority for more years than I could recall.
I went to a college advisor and she helped me gather all of my high school and college credits into one account. Once it was all in front of me, I saw that I needed about 60 more credits to complete my bachelor's degree. That would be time and money, Did I have it? Too damn bad if I didn't, I was determined to get it done. I wrote several pros and cons lists until I recognized that although it was not necessary per se, for my self image, getting a degree was critical. Being a target-driven individual (read: borderline obsessive), once my eyes are fixated on something, nothing can stop that high-speed train from derailing. I organized my life with meal planning and using Jordan Page block schedules, and I got full support with my husband on board. Hand me all the work, lady, it is on.
I sat at my first exam and my ego took a serious blow. After 15 years out of school, forget the stress of being a mom and wife while studying simultaneously, I had no clue how to study. I was given books to review, and I was tested on them. By the second test, Corona hit, I had to do everything from home. All college classes, everything was suddenly in my house. Where all of my children resided as well. My husband was laid off and it was pure chaos. Add in uncertainty, apocalyptical times, death all around us, and simply just losing our minds. Studying became a preposterous challenge. But I just kept doing it; studying, memorizing, paying, and testing. I persevered on repeat. I was doing better by leaps and bounds and was finally left with one test to complete. That was when we decided to sell our home and move 6k miles away to be close to family.
Yeah... You be crazy, lady.
We moved our whole life, my world was upside down. I studied over the first few months buried beneath boxes. I paid for the test, sat down to the at-home proctoring service, nervous as all hell. I zipped through the test and felt really confident. The months of studying had paid off, I got my results. A 100%. In my mind I was done, I accomplished a task greater than any other. I returned to school during corona upheaval, with all of my children at home, along with a move across the world. I did it. It was finally complete.
Until it was not...
I got an email from the college telling me that I had studied for, and taken, the incorrect test. It was a misunderstanding and they were sorry, but it was a duplicate credit and I needed to take a different test. Study for a different one.YOU ARE SORRY?? I was beyond discouraged, I fell apart. I tried every phone call, every email, and every sob story. Nothing could be done. I was so broken until I kicked myself in the butt for falling so hard. I did not get that far to give up inches away from the finish line. I told myself, repeatedly, that I could do it. I could do anything. Get your butt off the ground and complete what you started. I yanked my head up, begged them to wave the fee, which they did, and I studied again. This time, quickly. I couldn't push it off any longer. It had to get done before I changed my mind.
I aced it. I took the test and passed with flying colors.
I COMPLETED MY BACHELOR'S DEGREE.
IN MY OLD AGE!
I was feeling so high, I decided at that moment to take a course in something that had a potential for financial stability: Technical Writing. High-tech was where I felt it was at. The issue was the lack of computer skills or math brains, but I had a fragment of writing skills in my competence arsenal. So perhaps slightly different than my creative writing, definitely more boring, but a job is a job. I found a course and signed up.
Due to corona, the classes were all switched to virtual lessons. Better for me, I could be with my family during all quarantines and lockdowns and still get to class. I completed the course, was emailed a certificate, and shortly after, I moved again. House A.D.D.. In reality, I was in a temporary home for 10 months due to corona. Real estate, and relocation was too challenging.
Nonetheless, settled, I finally am. Blogging, I am. Here I am.
At the end of last week, I was offered a temporary job. I need to complete a project with the approximate time frame of two months working full-time. I accepted, I am set to begin next week. Fingers crossed, I hope to gain experience to put something on my resume. Maybe someone will snatch me up in the process. Meanwhile, how will I work full-time and be a mom? Eek. I can do anything, right?
Backtrack: The issue of being unable to cope with viewless posts is not yet being addressed. Reason being, I need to investigate the source of the pain to find the underlying problem, says the informative help article that I am reading. Deep diving into myself is not something that I take lightly. It is also something that I don't always enjoy. I can't tackle it until I fully comprehend what is occurring inside the depths of my soul. So a little more time will be taken. Hang in there folks.
Thank you so much for swinging by. Drop me a Like so that I know you came around. I am trying to avoid the stats. For health reasons
In my mind I was done, I accomplished a task greater than any other. I returned to school during corona upheaval, with all of my children at home, along with a move across the world. I did it. It was finally complete. 
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