I used to see my colleagues, carrying with them a pregnancy near term, climbing up on their career ladders, breastfeeding their children while carrying on with their careers. Wearing red lipstick and killer heels, all while strolling down a mall with their toddler.

I mean, how?!?

How come I had to stop and pause when I was breastfeeding. How come I had to look like a ragged old baboon during all those times. How come I couldn't even spend a night out without rushing home in time to tuck them to bed.

And then it hit me, because their significant other carried the heavier weightload. Because I was not willing to submit 100% to how my children will be raised if I let go of some of the responsibility and pass over the baton to that significant other.

Because we simply had

different priorities.

Did I regret it?

Hell yes, at first. Yes.

I honestly despised my situation with all my heart.

But now, I realized it was just meant to be. (Yeah that's what losers would say to make themselves feel better, LOL)

But yes, it's meant to be. I would give my everything to make sure I oversee who my children's friends are, to make sure they are in the right group, to make sure they know what is right and wrong.

And then, slowly, I would be able to let go. Not to be their shock absorber when times go awry. But make sure they are well oiled enough to be able to endure whatever life throws their way.

So, whatever step you are in now in your ladder, just look behind you, you might have fallen somewhere along the way, paused midstep, sprained yourself. But at the end of it all, you were able to pull yourself up and take that next step.

Just keep on going Momma. Everything's going to be alright.

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