As the Rishi Penny drops and Jeremy Frunt-Botham calls for National Unity Totalitarianism, a new Eurostat chart carries irrefutable evidence that bioweapon vaccines kill on a scale that is utterly unjustified by the nature of the illness they're supposed to cure, and American diplomacy is busy destroying every friendship the US has.
The Right Honourable Member for Nepotismurrey SouthWest and Chancer of the Exchequer Jereboam Huntstruck went onto MSM Channel Teleblind this evening in order to inform his subjects of a "very serious" investigation into the situation facing the Nation in relation to the trade configuration of export and import disequalisation.
He told viewers:
"I cannot overstate the importance of importation to the future of inflation ramification in deciding the destination of one small population during the obvious and inevitable colonisation of everywhere into the democratic organisation of gelatinisation into one indefatigable global unipolar board game of harmless Monopoly."
"We need a new explanation of how failures in exportation have given the British a demonstration of acute frustration with the entire form of democratisation since the unfortunate passage of the Emancipation of the People Act in 1889.
"And that's why I'm calling for National Unity and a period of minimal information in relation to what the fuck's going on in such little speculation as is still allowed in the indignation expressed that so irritates my close friend Cuban Pete Intrudeau, the hapless victim of lunatic fringe extremists in Alberta".
The following summary of the current UK political situation is offered by our Editor at Large:
It is rapidly becoming clear that, although three years ago he was happy, roly-poly and just like one of us, Boris Johnson is in fact an international terrorist, double agent and super-spreader of Covid23 who owes Vladimir Putin in excess of fourteen pounds seven and threepence. Therefore anyone in the Conservative Party who votes for de Pfeffel as Leader will be deemed an enemy of the State by MI6, MI5, 999, 007, and the 1922.
Nevertheless, democracy must not just be employed but also seen to be done with, so we're not going to have another Coronation oh dear me no: the eminently dishy Rishi Sunak will face a serious candidate, or failing that, a vaccine booster.
Saul Bollocks, Head of Sponsored Content
PS Boris Johnson has now got the 100 MP supporters he needs, but it's a secret.
After six years of the Bojo Truss Show, breaking promises and U-turning are now très à la mode, and perhaps even de rigueur, so this next item is proof that I am riding the giant new Wipeout Wave. I said I was done with quoting stats in relation to the poisonous toxicity of mRNA bioweapons rebranded as "vaccines", but this latest chart from the Horse's Ass (Eurostat) changed my mind:
Giving you a quick intro avoiding Google-translate at all costs, the chart measures excess early death mortality in the context of vaccine booster quotas achieved by European countries.
The Sun headline here is that the key to saving millions of lives is utter failure to get people to take the booster jab.
So shame on you there Bulgaria, Romania, Latvia, Hungary and Sweden, your early deaths failed to rise above the 0.2 - 4.1% range.
But well done Ireland, Finland, Cyprus, Netherlands, Austria and Germany, your determination predictably culled between 13 and 15.5% of your citizens before their time (see Johnson, Boris) and thus saved a fortune on your future State pension bill.
We salute your foresight in this matter, and trust that this 100% correlation between early graves and lots of jabs will at last put an end to all these silly conspiracy theories about Big Pharma and crooked health bureaucrats being in league with Earthly depopulation cod-science peddlers.
Major hat-tip here to the amazingly sharp eyes of Amy Boone.
Meanwhile, back in the gutter, some of Boris Johnson's opening remarks in the two-horse race to become Obersturmbannfuhrer of the Westminster Bunker do not bode well. Although the BBC asked almost plaintively....
....it was hard not to restrict the possibilities. For myself, the list in no particular order was a Fervert Monkey, my dog Harry who died 14 years ago, the mould growth on my bathroom wall, or a lettuce. I chose the last of those because the Daily Star ran a test on an Iceberg lettuce they'd put in the fridge on the day she ascended to the illusion of power, and when she resigned they took the green ball out as good as new. So it is that she becomes a new footnote in history, accompanied by the not entirely promising strapline, 'LizzTruss. Only a lettuce comes close'.
Anyway, allegedly Boris had this to say to his hardsell telephone and troll Election Team yesterday:
"Look heeya, seems to me that the tried and tested unsophisticated Game Show to Ant 'n' Dec platform Tory Cock 'n' Bull approach is still way above the level of sub-gutter opportunism required in order to for me to pay off the multiple paternity suits I have amassed over the years. Having had my best pea-brained wife's PR skills on my side in recent weeks, during intensive seminar holidays on three separate continents, I really think we have cracked it. The requirement is to move from cock n' bull to cock 'n' balls.
"You see, to be a decisively misleading leader and equivocator, one has to have a very large dick and balls of steel.
"And so tonight, I announce my Honourable Member challenge to Fishy Rishi Sunak: when I perambulate, my balls of steel go orangatangarangatanga and - as I go about my daily duty by searching for rollicking pastimes to populate the World with stiff upper lips - I am forced to hide my trouser skyscraper as a matter of common decency.
"Can my honourable friend claim the same?"
The Sunak Camp was quick to respond and deny any camp tendencies in their candidate.
Rishi's campaign director Kleerly Adenough released this statement to the Presstitutes last night:
"Mister Sunak wishes to make it clear that he is very much a grower not a show-er in the schlong department - a tendency that many research studies have shown to be a sign of higher intelligence. Rishi utterly refutes the sinister Johnson suggestion that he lacks balls, and to that end we have today employed the services of Royal Physician Sir Gawain Joustbucket-Leech who states quite categorically that the candidate's scrotal sac contains both testicles in full working order".
LATE FLASH - BORIS PULLS OUT*
*"Too many unwanted children in the world as it is" says Bonker Bojo
So to end now on a serious note, let us recall a Slogpost from thirteen days ago on the subject of America's self-imposed isolation from its traditional "allies". Now we read that the Saudis have formalised their alliance of the Brics against American Unipolar Hegemony.
American diplomacy got it wrong, but an old fart in Africa got it right. It doesn't inspire confidence, does it?
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