This year has had bad moments, sad moments, joyful moments, and moments of growth. I have let go of people that I needed to let go. We have had another successful gardening year. We have traveled. We were able to spend 3 amazing weeks with our granddaughter. I have decided this is the year I am going to forgive my mother. It may very well be the full year to arrive at that place. We have created a blessed life. My husband laments that he didn't meet me earlier in our lives. We met each other at the right time. We met at a time when we were the people we needed to be for each other.
I wish that we have peace in our World. Putin's war continues. We have families still raging over the Trump Era and the 2020 election. There are more important things to worry about and to disagree about. Healthy discord can create healthy change.
I don't go on Facebook often. I received a message from about 2 weeks ago. A decade ago, today's Facebook messenger would have triggered me. Instead, I took a deep breath and called the woman who reached out to me. She wanted to know if my ex was redeemable. Apparently, he is still having the same type of abusive relationship. I sat with it for a moment and decided to give her a call. I listened to what she had to say. I validated her experience, however, I didn't offer advice or offer my thoughts about "Mike's" ability for redemption. Honestly, I know for fact he is not redeemable. Psychopathy is not redeemable.
Calmly, I was able to tell her that his abuse toward me was very similar to what she experienced. However, my experience and the aftermath were unique to my situation as hers is to her. She is blessed to have a family who was supportive of her. They didn't escalate him while they were together. My family would escalate him, particularly, my mother. Now, this may sound like I am excusing his behavior, however, when someone begs you not to add fuel to the fire. You do what you need to survive. She wanted to know if I would testify about his prior bad acts on Zoom. I told her as I have told others I refuse to relive that time again in a courtroom. I have always made my records from that time available at the court. One of the things I did when I moved across the country was to destroy all my personal records of his crime against me. One day, I hope she has the peace I feel about surviving domestic violence. This year, I am aware, I came out the other side of it all and I am whole.
Life is what you make. We wanted to create a life of simplicity. A life that is authentic. A life close to nature. I have learned this year to meet people where they are, not to expect them to be WHERE, I think they should be.
Happy New Year, dear readers.
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