Feel free to see this one as humor, or sarcasm…
Fill out those "applications", and wait to get called…
Sir number one…
What's your name…
who's mama's good boy, huh??? C'mere!
photos from online
No response, 'cuz dogs don't speak "human"???
Now, let's try something BASIC:
SIT
STAY
DOWN
SHAKE
ROLL OVER
PLAY DEAD
PRETTY (what we shortened "sit pretty" to when we'd trained our dogs from before!)
And my favorite…
Shhhhhhhhh (holding my index finger to my lips, without the NEED to point to my ear as a "cue", 'cuz I got them trained already???)
And, if you can't do all of the above, and MORE tricks that I will be teaching you, then, don't bother!
To pass the interview to become my PET, well, that's easy, you need to be four-legged, with a tail behind your butt, can respond to my god damn, @#$%ING (maxed!) commands of SIT, STAY, HEEL, and do NOT pull and tug on your leashes when I take you guys out to walk.
And, if you can fulfill ALL of these, above requirements, then, I'd loved to, have you come to stay with me, but first on a trial basis, 'cuz I need to be absolutely CERTAIN, that our "relationship" will built do, last, and by that I mean, until the END of your lives.
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