Chaplain's Chat
The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, code name Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality: or more commonly known as SIN.
Some of the known symptoms are; loss of direction, lack of peace and joy, depression and confusion, foul vocal emissions, selfish and violent behavior, amnesia of origin, fearfulness, rebellion, pride.
To correct this SIN defect, the manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge. The repair technician (Jesus) has generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician (Jesus) into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with; Love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, patience and self-control.
Please see the operating manual (HOLY BIBLE) for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to all repaired units, direct monitoring and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, HOLY SPIRIT.
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up residence on the premises.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without making these corrections, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to many dangers and problems - and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.
For free 24 hour emergency services, call on JESUS.
Psalm 139 verses 1 to 4 "O Lord You have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, You know it altogether."
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for being such a wonderful, loving God who knows everything about us. Lord, I pray that You will help us to surrender ourselves to You for You to do your repair work within us. May we, today, find comfort and assurance in the fact that even though we were born with a sinful nature, we have been redeemed by Jesus death and resurrection, and now there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So Lord, would you do the repair work that needs to be done in us, to make us the people you want us to be. In Jesus name I pray. Amen
Chaplain Ron
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