The first step to, letting go, as your children grow up…translated…
My daughter told, that she wanted to visit her friend in Europe in a few days, I'd not caught what she said to me, so I'd asked again, what was that?
She'd told me she has two friends who were foreign exchange students in England and the Netherlands, they'd invited her to Europe to travel, she'd wanted to use her spring break, and a few days of skipping the lectures to go, to get two weeks of traveling in, to visit around in Europe. I'd started mumbling to myself: so sudden, didn't even book the airfare, the hotels beforehand, without any plans, how is this good for, traveling?
But, immediately, I'd, switched my thoughts, the key to how good a trip is, is in the companions of traveling, with the right people, then, the trip would be, memorable for sure, and seeing how her friends were already waiting for her there, there's no need to match their individual schedules with one another, this is a rare opportunity, just let her go, to have some fun, no big deal if she misses a few lectures, besides, which college students hadn't, skipped a class or two from time to time?
illustration from UDN.com
It took her, less than two weeks, from confirming her traveling schedules, to setting out, and, I was worried for her, purchasing the tickets so close to her departure day, and yet, I can, only, search online, and, as I'd checked, I'd found, that the costs were, quite uneven, the one-way airfare ranged anywhere from $500 U.S to $800 U.S., and, she bought the lowest price that she'd ever seen, which broke my belief of "closer to the date of departure, the pricier the tickets".
Although, I'd, encouraged my daughter on this solo trip to Europe but, after all, she is, a young woman, without the experiences of traveling alone abroad (so many days she was without her traveling companions), a single woman in a strange land, is it, safe? If something were to come up, what would happen to her? Will she be able to, handle it herself? I'm supportive of her out to see the world, but at the same time, I'd, worried about her safety, and can only, construct myself psychologically, again, and again, reminding myself to, let go, that way, she would, have the, opportunities to grow on her own.
Due to the jet lag, we'd rarely found the right time for her to call me up when she'd toured Europe, after a few days, we finally, caught one another, and she'd, stuttered to me, "that first day to the Netherlands, someone pickpocketed my wallet. What I worried about the most, had, happened!
She'd told me, as she'd found her wallet gone, she'd immediately called up the bank, and the bank stopped the card, and the lost identification cards, the national health insurance, the driver's license, she'll have to reapply after her return back home; what she'd felt worst over was the cash she'd, lost, had she known she wasn't able to keep the cash with her, she should've, bought more souvenirs she liked, unlike now, she'd, lost the money, and the opportunities to purchase some, souvenirs. She'd told, that thankfully, she'd, split up the cash she'd brought from before, and stashed them separately, and it'd, helped, reduced the losses. Everything she could do, she needed to do, she'd, already done, I need not worry. And, my husband and I suggested that she head to the local police station to report her wallet being stolen, just in case. She'd, brought a slip of what the local police recorded down, an alternative sort of, souvenir, I suppose.
On her way back, she'd transferred in Seattle. Because the flight was delayed for an hour and a half, she only had fifty minutes to catch her flight, and yet, there was, this, long, winding line standing to be security-checked before her, and, she didn't know when it will be, her turn, and, as I'd heard, I'd told my husband straight away, that she's not coming home tonight.
And yet, at the final moment, she'd called me up, told me, she'd, just boarded the plane.
We picked her up at the airport, and I'd curiously inquired, "how did you get on so fast?" she'd told me, that she used her thick-skin, and explained to those before her in line, that her flight is about to take off in twenty minutes, if she could, cut in line? And, it'd, resolved her problem of, not catching the flight on time.
She'd come back home, and gleefully, shared with her what she saw on the trip, seeing how animated she was, I'm glad, that I gave her a shove as she was, hesitant about it, to give her the opportunity to see Europe in its, beauty, and I'm even happier, to see how she'd, solved the many problems that surfaced during this trip, how she'd, made it on her, own.
Thankfully, I'd, allowed her to, fly solo, for me to realize, to see, to understand, to know, that she's no longer that child I needed to watch over all the time.
And so this is a learning experience for both the parents and the child, allowing her daughter to fly solo, this is something huge for any parent, and yet, the mother knew, that her daughter needed to become independent, and in the end, it'd, proven, that her daughter has enough problem solving abilities to make it!
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