I've been very reflective this holiday season, and in the midst of that, I find myself missing my family so much - particularly, my extended family I grew up with in Ohio. When we were kids, we spent every Christmas Eve together.
This year, my closest cousin Rachel passed away, and I'm finding myself remembering her so very often - remembering opening up matching Barbie dolls together and asking my dad to open them so we could all play with them right away; remembering how she loved olives and would steal most of them from the buffet, putting them on her finger tips and walking around with olive fingers; and remembering how we dressed up in the fanciest dresses for these parties, thinking we were the belles of some extravagant ball.
We hadn't had a Christmas together in a long time - once I'd moved to TN it would have obviously been hard - but we still often messaged each other on holidays and birthdays and sometimes just randomly.
I miss the comfort of knowing she was there. I miss the sound of her laugh. I miss the excitement of being kids on Christmas Eve together. I miss so much, and I find myself praying that she is at peace and that somehow, her Christmas in heaven brings the kind of joy that on earth, only giggling cousins in crushed velvet dresses with new Barbies and olive fingers can understand.
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