Dude, today was a day.
Like the kind of day where you truly want to jump in the car and drive away. Like want to cry and scream and laugh while running away. That kind of day.
I should have known when I missed my alarm, after getting the ice delay call, that it was gonna be that kind of day. What I should have done was crawled back into bed and hid under the covers. It's what I would have done had I known what was coming next.
Our teenager, bless her heart, started the day in tears. I'm talking can't get intelligible words out, face contorted, loud sobbing tears. My sweet girl had all the emotions and then some this morning. Why? She misses her best friend. Sigh. She misses the person she's seen almost everyday for the last three years. Her other half to the crazy show. Her person. I get that. I do.
After an hour of calming, coaxing, reasoning, rationalizing, reassuring, and all the other things I do as mom, I gave up. I quit. I'm not proud because I don't give up or give in. But, today I did. I didn't have it in me to badger her into clothes and drive her sobbing into school. Day two was a no go.
My frustration peaked. I called reinforcements. And wanted to strangle him and his calm voice through the phone. lol. Tears of frustration burned my eyes. Feelings of failure clogged my throat. I'm mom. I fix the things. I help. I heal the hurts. But, today I couldn't do any of those things.
Before we made this transition, I knew things were going to be challenging. I'd have been an idiot to think otherwise. And the planning me, created plots and scenarios in preparation for it. And I still couldn't get my daughter off to school on her second day.
Life has an uncanny way of testing us. Of pulling at us in ways we never imagined. Did I imagine a cross-country move during the freshman year of our last kid at home? Nope. Definitely did not. It's how we deal with those tests that defines us. Frustration, tears, sadness don't make us less. But wallowing in them makes us miserable.
So, after I swiped my own frustrated tears away, I told my daughter I'd back off, emailed the school, and moved on with my dad. This is just one day. One piece in this wild new puzzle we are putting together. Hopefully, with more hugs, snuggles, and sleep, tomorrow will be a better day.
Day four was rough
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