Over 70% of moms feel overwhelmed by societal expectations. (The Skimm, 2023). So, if you've ever felt the pressure to be a perfect mom, you're not alone. Today, I'm here to help you break free from that overwhelming cycle and craft a vision that's authentically yours. Whether you are feeling overwhelmed, confident, exhausted, or full of life today, I'm happy to have you on the blog as we explore the science behind crafting a vision for motherhood. I'll share why this is valuable to you as a mom, and how you can get started so you can save stress and enjoy your motherhood more.
Vision words you can choose from.
In a world teeming with influences, both online and offline, it's easy to find ourselves in auto-pilot mode. But in this space, we'll dive into the importance of defining your vision and embracing a motherhood journey that aligns with your true self.
What Are "Vision" Words?
Let's kick things off by exploring the power of words. Pick five words that resonate most with your aspirations as a mom. If they're not coming immediately, I have a resource to guide you through that inside my Motherhood Unlocked: Your First Year membership.
This isn't meant to be woo-woo or hard to understand. For this practice vision means this: I want to feel it. If I'm experiencing this it means I'm on the right track and can feel successful in my journey. When I close my eyes and envision the way I want my life to look and feel- this is what vision means for this practice.
These words will guide you as you figure out ways to follow your vision more on your motherhood journey. They guide your decisions, feelings, communication, etc. For me, those words are Gratitude, Connection, Adventure, Presence, and Kindness. (What are yours? Tell me in the comments!)
Stepping Out of Auto-Pilot
Creating a vision means stepping out of auto-pilot. It means working a little harder to hear your voice in the sea of overwhelming advice, norms, and expectations.
Why should we actively create a vision for motherhood rather than going with the flow? Studies have shown that intentional parenting has a profound positive impact on child development. It fosters emotional intelligence and resilience.
Not to be morbid, but when you're on your deathbed you probably won't say "I wish I had just fallen in line and followed the status quo." But you're more likely to say "I wish I had followed my heart/my intuition/my own vision for my life."
Motherhood is complicated and messy and doesn't have enough support systems built in, but what we can do is be intentional about how we navigate it, and knowing your vision guides that.
The Impact of Influencers and Celebrities
We are constantly seeing other people's lives and their motherhood experiences and this makes finding and following our vision more complicated. We see hundreds or thousands of other women's lives, ut only kind of. We see what we're privy to, which is hardly ever the whole picture. It's why we use the term "highlight reel" to describe social media profiles. With all of the screens surrounding us daily, the constant influx of curated content bombards us with images of seemingly perfect lives, which creates an unrealistic idea of parenting.
Statistics consistently show the weight of this influence, revealing that a large number of parents say they feel pressured to conform to the standards set by influencers. That sucks, but also it's up to each person to build a shield to that pressure to compare or conform. By prioritizing authenticity, we reclaim our power, shaping our parenting experiences based on our vision, rather than societal expectations.
3 Areas to Create a Motherhood Vision
Your life is multi-faceted and there are numerous areas of life that you can do this practice with. The three identified areas are going to have an impact on multiple areas of your life, so they are a great focus. We are working through this not to create a perfect-life-template, but to open up some more clarity so that you know what you're focusing on and don't feel like you have 1000 tabs open in your brain all of the time.
Daily Routines
What are the most important parts of your day that you want to protect? Having a vision for your daily routines provides a roadmap, helping you navigate through the chaos with purpose and direction (and less overwhelm.) It helps you to prioritize when your to-do list is off the charts. This also helps you feel your sense of purpose and accomplishment, especially when you're in a season where you don't feel like you accomplished much (I had those days, a lot.)
When you have a vision for your daily routines, you can be more efficient and effective with your time. You have a strong foundation when it comes time to say "no" to something without guilt. An additional benefit of that is mindfulness. When you are checking in with your vision, it encourages you to be present in the moment and be mindful of your choices.
Energy Protection
What are the things you do that give back more energy? Perhaps that's exercise, journaling, or meditating. These things generate more energy and joy for you, and choosing to prioritize them can help you stay in line with your vision.
On the other hand, what are there places you go or things you do because you think you "should" or "have to?" Maybe you're going to a baby music class and you're not enjoying it, but you think you "have to" have your baby in a class because you see influencers taking their baby all around like they're getting a college degree. If the things bombarding your daily routines aren't part of your vision, it's time to cut it.
Relationship Dynamic
This primarily means with your partner, if you have someone you're raising your children with. However, it also includes the other important relationships in your life like your parents, siblings, close friends, coworkers, etc.
How do you want to feel in your relationship? What kinds of actions support that kind of experience? Understanding your vision allows you to deepen your connection and strengthen your teamwork. How do you want to feel with your friends? What kinds of actions support that kind of experience? Understanding your vision allows you to find fulfillment in relationships by knowing what is truly valuable to you.
Personal Growth
We can do anything, but we can't do everything. Moms specifically get a lot of pressure for their personal growth. Weight loss. Side hustles. Immaculate homes. Funny TikTok dances. Corporate ladder. Volunteering. We see people doing all these things, but it's different people all doing something, not one person being and doing it all. Don't get distracted and discouraged by feeling like you have to fill all the buckets.
What kind of personal growth aligns with your vision for yourself as a mother?
Our Motherhood Community
Do you want to talk to other moms about this? We are discussing this, along with other relevant topics, in Motherhood Unlocked: Your First Year. This is my private community for moms like you to find friends, coaching, and resources to bring more ease and joy to motherhood. When you join, you get access to the signature Course, including the 8 key changes you experience in motherhood and tools to help you move through with confidence. You also get access to the community discussion, weekly group coaching calls with me, and ongoing training and resources to make life easier and more joyful for you.
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