How you'd only, become, aware of this, when you are on the outside, looking, in, and when you're one of the players, you don't realize that this SHIT is, happening to you, and others, and more often than not, we don't even realize that we're, doing it…translated…
The phrase, "emotional blackmail" only started trending these past couple of years, although the phrase seemed brand new, but it'd, existed in our, ordinary lives for a long, long time already: the elderly woman cried and told the wife of the grandson to work hard to get pregnant; the father getting down on his knees to his own son, begged him take the family business; the mother cried and threatened to take her own life, to the daughter, forcing her to marry a richer man whom the daughter didn't, love. And, although these three situations had, come out of the soap opera scripts of Taiwan, but if you don't bust it, you would think that someone you know fitted to these, and it's all emotional blackmail, using one's own bodies, or emotions as a weakness of the other person you're trying to manipulate. But, what right have you, to use your own body, and emotions, as a bargaining chip in making someone else do what you want her/him, to?
If it was only blackmailing, most of those who'd blackmailed would care LESS about the victim, when they scammed for money, for love, the perps would NOT care about the victims' life or death, or how they feel even. But emotional blackmail is different, the blackmailers supposedly CARE about how the victim feels, to the point of, loving the person—or at least, that's what the victims are led to, believe. And because of this so-called love, they're willing to SACRIFICE themselves, to suppress one's own free will until one crumbles and breaks completely. And what's weird, is that the individual who cared the most in the relationship ended up, losing, but s/he does NOT care if s/he wins or loses. Love had always been, a difficult lesson for all of us.
it's often, quite difficult to realize, that we'd been, manipulating or had been manipulated by another...illustration from online
And, at work, there would be, instances of, emotional blackmail too. And I'm too blessed, to never been caught in one of these. Once, there were the sounds of fighting that came out of the conference room, and several of our coworkers, tiptoed to see over the fuzzy glass pane, and we'd witnessed the members of some other department, rammed their heads against the walls, cried out, "I was wrong, I'll change, will that be, all right with you!", the manager flew into a panic, tried pulling the individual back with all his might. And because there was an overload of things happening all at once, we all looked at each other, then, we all, exited out of the conference room, but we'd not dared gone too far out of the area, if there are the emergencies, then, we would be there to offer the needed assistance if the time comes to that. Another confrontation came at a public place, the originally loud and raucous office had the high-pitched scream of "I'll kill myself if it makes you happy" shot through the air, and, due to the words, everybody suddenly, froze, we'd all turned to see where the voice came from. And, the individual quickly left in a hurry in his own anger—and thankful, that he was only downstairs, to cool down his own head. And it was the manager of another department that was, blamed.
And both of these managers were commended by the entire, office, and loved by all the other members of the office too, and, although both had, said NO to the emotional blackmail afterwards, and handled everything right. But, going to work, and facing up to the scenes you only encounter and see in the soap operas, that's a bit, damaging to them. One of the managers fell into an all-time low for a very long while kept rethinking what he did wrong.
Sometimes, as I'd heard the younger friends complained about how their managers loved getting the officemates together after work to drink, to the suppers, to the karaoke, it'd made them stuck, not known how to turn their managers down. And I'd always, used these two examples from my workplace, to show them how these two individuals had, emotionally blackmailed their managers, to turn the tables to their, favors. But once the emotional blackmailing happened, damages are already done, there's no turning back. Besides, this is at work, not at home, how can we, put up with this, bad behaviors of, something throwing that huge temper tantrum, like a baby, on the floor, refusing to get back up?
"Do you all want to test out the powers of emotional blackmailing? No bullshit, it works, in a, split, second." My friends were in disbelief, said that emotional blackmail is like the skills of the swords fight novels, where you hurt someone seventy-percent, and thirty-percent bounced back at yourself. Surely, everybody followed the unspoken rules of the world and work. Okay then, I shall, keep on, lending my ears to all of your, troubles.
So, this is how, damaging emotional blackmail worked, someone has something on someone else, and, that someone controls the victim (aka. The ENABLER), and, this is still an ABUSER/ENABLER interactions, because you allowed the other person to control you, that's why now, you can't, stop yourselves from falling to their, ABUSIVE ways. And, most of times, you don't even have HALF a CLUE (not even a WHOLE clue here!), that this was happening to you in your, day-to-day interactions, at home or, at work.
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