Falling in love is the biggest gamble you will ever make in your life. You either win or you lose.
I've been in love 3 times in my life. But I think one was more infatuation than love.
Most recently I fell in love. It happened all of sudden, in a blink of an eye I was deeply in love with someone. But to be honest I think it was one sided. Was it as real for him as it was for me? Or was it just boredom, someone to waste some time. But that's the gamble you take, right?
It happened so quickly and then it ended, not so quickly. It's funny how you can fall not even think about it but it happens. Just being around that person is the best thing in the world. Talking to them, hearing them laugh, a smile, a touch, a kiss changes your entire day.
I never did believe in love or soulmates. But about 3 years ago I started to. Even just their smell was intoxicating. I know that sounds funny, I never knew about pheromones.
But like all amazing things, it came to an abrupt end. I wasn't good enough. I truly wasn't what he wanted. And so I step back so he can be truly happy.
But I'm left with the pain. I'm left with my heart broken into pieces. He's moved on, he's happy and in love. It's not just the hope that I was given or the future I thought was going to happen. The love I thought we had, the chemistry, all of that, it's the point that I've lost a best friend.
I'm invisible to him now. I mean nothing. Like the past 3-4 years meant nothing. They always get what they want don't they. They're happy ever after. But I'm still here crying and wishing it could be different.
The pain is real. It hurts. But it's life. Love is a gamble. Another lesson to add to my book I guess.
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