Monday, March 4, 2024

Challenged? 5 Steps to an Easier Life

Virginia Goszewska

March 4

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what's not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years in a highly regarded profession to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven't produced results. Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed "I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits."

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there's a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn't want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured that he wouldn't spend another minute where he didn't want to be.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn't appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

"I'm in the right place at the right time, and I know there's opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I'm amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

"My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she'll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I'm looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I'll figure it out and make it work."

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It's either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to:

Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it's always there.
Stop thinking and talking about what's wrong and instead focus on what's working
Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
Take action in the direction of your dreams.