I want you to remember to always go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right- whatever it is, pause and breathe. Then, do what your gut tells you in the moment. You can always reconsider later or change course or decide differently. I want you to know that if something doesn't feel right, it's not right. You don't have to check your gut with any one else.
The irony of getting taken advantage of on International Women's Day didn't pass me by. after school, I went into town to pick up some medication for my son. Unused to rush hour traffic and unable to find a taxi because the taxi app has an algorithm that knows my penchant for cancelling and so now lets me book, less and less, I found myself walking. Most of the time I actually enjoy walking and could have walked home, at a pinch. But, high AQI, heavy traffic, the weight of a very long week at work and my work bag pulling on my shoulder were good enough for me to want to get on a bike or car taxi and get back to the serenity of home.
I walked a kilometer or so up to the entrance of a big mall and finally found a very willing taxi who agreed to take me. I jumped in and asked him to open his app so I could book the trip home and he pointed to the meter. 'Meter, meter!' I nodded. Right there my gut told me something felt wrong. We turned out of Lotte and into the long, slow moving queue of traffic, snaking its way towards the highway. I glanced up at the meter and I knew my gut had been right. The meter was moving too quickly. I debated saying something but the lights changed and we were picking up speed, so I stayed silent. I kept my eye on the meter and by the time we got onto the main thoroughfare that would take me straight home, I was sure something was wrong. I have been here before- I know what being swindled feels like. I said out loud- 'something is wrong with your meter- pointing to the meter', my heart beating at my own boldness. The driver immediately put on google translate and said he didn't understand what I was saying and that this is how people earn money. Nice work for someone who didn't know what I just said. After a little back and forth, I nodded 'ok'. It was no point taking him on- I sensed his irritation. A young man, twice my size, annoyed because I had caught him out, in charge of the wheel and the door locks, was not something I was willing to take on. It wasn't worth it.
I got close to the area I live and got him to stop. Paid and got away from there, into the security of a known space.
The feeling I was left with was anger that a man, or anyone, thought it was ok to take advantage of me. I was cross with myself that I didn't pause, breathe and get out of the cab as soon as I got in. But I called him on it. I made sure he knew it was not ok- he heard me and knew, I knew. Hopefully he doesn't do it again ( although he likely will) and hopefully I remember my own advice, for the next time.
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