I want to start right out the gate with a Truth Moment, if thats ok? Truth is I have attempted to write this blog post more times than I care to actually admit. In this space, no words seem to do any justice to what I want to say or what I need to say. …
I want to start right out the gate with a Truth Moment, if thats ok? Truth is I have attempted to write this blog post more times than I care to actually admit. In this space, no words seem to do any justice to what I want to say or what I need to say.
So where have I been? The short + cute answer is, taking my own souls medicine, growing closer to my daughter, deepening my knowledge in the world of birth and expanding my not so little anymore holistic wellness business. The longer + more difficult answer is, 2 years consciously uncoupling, 1 year of separation, 1 year of legal divorce, relocation, preparing a teen for college and growth on all levels beyond measure.
It is my hope that as I ease my way back into this space the longer version of the story + the lessons they provided will emerge. For now, we will lean into the good, as we always have. There are 2 things that I am the most proud of since the last time we connected, one was actually much harder than I anticipated.
Breaking
I am proud that I took a break when I needed a break and that was also the hardest things to do even when I wholeheartedly knew I needed it. Sometimes in life, when things are happening we have to surrender and give ourselves relief, even if we don't know how the pieces may land. That's what a lot of this time away looked like. Surrendering and accepting the pieces no matter how they looked.
Why is it so hard for us as women, as black and brown women to take a break? Even in today's time when we know the cost. The cost of not slowing down, the cost of stacking things up and the cost of not taking care of ourselves. Even knowing the price, its hard to ask for help, put things down or even to say you know what, this no longer serves me in a positive way.
Authentic Living
The 2nd thing that I am most proud of since the last time we connected has to be authentic living. For the very 1st time in at least 32 years (give or take), I am truly living my most authentic life. As simple as that sounds, after years of living for others, making myself small and palpable, I have truly stepped into being a co-creator in how I experience this life. Being an active participant has looked like a whole lot of leaning into those things that feel good while in the same breath addressing the things that don't by setting boundaries or letting people, places or things go.
So I reluctantly took a break. I say reluctantly because, truth moment? I prided myself in getting things done. Holding it all together. Accomplishing it ALL; I dont know who told me there was a star chart for doing all the sh*t but apparently I was at the top of my class with the number of things I was taking on all while dismantling my former identity.
Returning to Sittin' Crooked Talkin' Straight
If you have been around for a while, you may remember that the whole premise of this space 'Sittin' Crooked Talkin' Straight, was us, you and I, coming together, sittin' real close virtually and getting real honest about our journeys.
One more Truth Moment for the road? While I have been patiently waiting to restart my 1st creative baby (this blog), I am extremely excited to share some of the things I have learned while on my mini break at taking a pause. You will still see a lot of familiar topics like selfcare, nervous system regulation and holistic living but I will be adding some of my new interests such as apartment homesteading, becoming an ingredient household and preparing a teen for life after high school.
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