Maybe "found" isn't the best word choice as the diaries were never really lost, they just weren't with me. I got them back and I started reading old entries from my teenage years and even early twenties. I really stopped writing around twenty-five/twenty-six. I cannot even tell you exactly why I stopped writing - I just did.
About a year or even less after my very last journal entry which was written way after my series of ramblings, I started blogging here. Musings of the Mind documented a lot of my thoughts and my journey whereas Instagram documented my life. Eventually I pulled away from how I was doing things and changed what became content and what did not. Yet I still struggled with blogging and coming up with new content to publish on WordPress. Then I got my diaries back and I had my 'aha!' moment.
Musings of the Mind has twelve categories ranging from 'blogging' to 'mental health' to 'PCOS' but the category with the most amount of published posts is the 'personal' category. The name says it all - it's the blogging category where I share the more personal aspect of my life. While a lot of things do not make it there, sometimes it's a challenge of deciding what should be shared and what should not be shared. Now you may be wondering what does any of this have to do finding my diaries.
Finding my diaries made me realise that while having a blog is great, I needed a private and confidential outlet to write down the things that I would not share with the internet. I wrote an entry after many years about something that has been weighing on my mind for almost a year now, and it was a relief to get it out, see it written in ink against paper, and know that the information goes nowhere. I've been struggling a lot with blogging because when I chose to write something or decide on a topic I have to heavily edit my words because I am blogging under my real name and I have no idea who is reading what. With my personal journal - none of that matters.
With all of the above said, it does not mean that I will stop sharing certain aspects of my personal life altogether and it does not mean I am going to alter how I blog either. It just means that now that I have a medium to freely express myself and I have another medium to keep doing what I love - writing. One has an audience and the other simply does not. To get myself back into the groove of blogging on a more regular basis, I will be dabbling a little bit with daily prompts. I am hoping that one of the daily prompts allows for a spin off for future blog posts.
But, it feels great to be back!
Thank you very much for reading this post and if you wrote a blog post that you think is interesting or came across a post you think I should check out, drop the link in the comments. Until next time!
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